Episode 13: 3 Ways Physician Moms Can Listen More to Their Gut Instinct

So often people have told me “Just listen to your gut.” Easy for them to say, right? In my opinion, they are speaking out of hindsight. Think of the moment your body tells you “No” as the words fall out of your mouth, “Yes.”

Passivity is easy. Resistance takes energy.

But with work, errands, kids, and family, you just don’t have the extra energy to push back. The result is letting others essentially dictate little decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you let others walk all over you. But what about the multitudes of small decisions that are just easier to not make?

And where does that get you when you don’t follow your inner voice? What if there was a way to turn this around and be more at peace with your actions?

Keep listening for 3 ways to choose your own direction and take back control of your decisions.

Doctors Make Accurate Daily Decisions for Others but Not Always for Themselves

When I listen to the small shifts, the whispers, I am often surprised to discover I was right about my gut instinct.

When I trust my gut more and stop pushing it aside, good things happen.

In that moment my gut tries to speak, I have this full conversation in a flash. There is a debate I am only slightly conscious of which weighs all possible responses.

The easy route is to let the decision slide, not act on my gut. I can just follow some unwritten or assumed rule everything will work out.

I’ll give you a personal example. Sometimes I doubt myself and my own opinion. I was training with a mentor to help create a writing project. Part of her guidance was to follow examples of what she had written. So, I did and finished the project quickly.

However, a few lines of text nagged at me as being unauthentic. How true, they were molded off another human’s experience, not mine. But I went along with it and doubted I could write something better.

I assumed someone else had a better answer for me than me. I gave away that decision and lost a little control over the direction of my project.

So, when she replied those lines of text didn’t fit with my voice, I thought “Aha, I should have listened to myself!”

This can happen in so many areas of our lives, right? How about you?

Some women I’ve spoken to notice they feel disappointed in themselves if they let other people down. Somehow letting oneself down is preferable to letting another down. The other person comes first here.

As an example, one physician said she would pick up an extra shift or attend a get together out of obligation when those actions really conflicted with her own need to take a break.

Another woman began to acknowledge she always went with the “safe” option of staying in a specialty that was draining her, but it paid the bills. And, after all the years invested, how could she possibly find the same success elsewhere.

Letting others, or your own fears, biases and disillusions dictate your decisions, even the small ones. Because it’s just the way it is? Or maybe they know something I don’t.

3 Ways to Take Back Decisions in Your Medical Practice and with Family

• Recognize Your Intuition.

  You know, that feeling or hunch about something that comes without any conscious effort is valuable. That is your intuition.

  I notice a small shudder when I am not settled with some decision. Or a quiet distant voice tells me “Ew, I don’t like it.” And then sometimes I feel a knot in my chest or stomach. There are so many other ways my intuition speaks to me when I just stop and listen.

  Stop, for me, means a moment of peace. I tune in to myself and tune out the barrage of noise.

  This is a skill, to find peace and tune in to intuition. I need to strengthen that skill by short daily meditations – the same way muscles need frequent exercise to stay strong.

  I use an app on my phone for meditation. It’s funny that technology interferes with life but can be a useful advantage.

  So, I pick up my phone, take off my smart watch (and all its alerts), switch to noise cancelling headphones, and shut the door. Now, those valuable 10-15 minutes are mine.

  How can you better tune in to your own intuition? It doesn’t need to be 10 consecutive minutes – that’s just me. It could be multiple points in your day that you pause and center yourself. A couple heartbeats of introspection can be powerful.

• Respect your feelings – they reflect your values.

  Follow your feelings, or intuition, in the moment — even when it challenges what others expect.

  Your intuition is built on a wealth of experience and wisdom. Your amazing brain pulls together this feeling in a fraction of a second, so you don’t have to sit down and list out pros and cons, or journal for a few days to decide.

  I’ve found that when I listen to myself, my inner voice in my head or the physical responses I feel, I am giving a gift of respect to myself. I respect my own wisdom.

  This self-respect empowers me to make choices aligned with my values. By honoring my intuition, I acknowledge my values are worthy and become better equipped to serve myself and others.

• Act on those gut feelings — this takes energy!

  Agreeing with yourself is one thing, taking the physical step saying or doing something to act in your own favor is another.

  It requires pushing past the knee-jerk conditioned response to prioritize others’ needs over your own intuition. Physician moms especially can fall into this trap, suppressing their instincts to appease patients, colleagues, or family in the whirlwind of demands.

  Take a small risk. You can advocate for a second opinion for your child. You can set firmer boundaries with demanding patients. And you can decline that request to cover a shift. Sometimes the biggest rewards start with a single step away from playing it safe and toward reclaiming control of your decisions.

You Are a Strong Woman – Own Your Decisions

As I reflect on past situations where I ignored my gut, I can identify and recognize patterns and become more attuned to my inner signals. I acknowledge my intuition.

Then, I can respect that gut feeling is telling me that something isn’t right. My feeling signals a clash with external pressure or perceived “right” course of action and my true values.

Last, I make a conscious effort to act. I can then hold up my hand to the pressure and choose what is right for me. This is not selfish, it’s preserving my own energy, my ability to give to others and be there for my family.

These are some of my strategies in this game of life. I believe I am on the right track toward winning too – for myself, not against others.

You get to choose your own unique strategies. Make your one single, precious life your own winning success. I’m proud of you already!

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive