Episode 14: How to Harness Your Strengths as a Busy Doctor Mom

You know those days where the world seems a bit off its axis?  I’m talking about when one crazy setback after another all seem to fall within a 24-hour period.  It feels like this can’t be coincidence, right?

Well, it probably is, but my overactive mind starts piecing together a conspiracy. I mean that in jest. I do laugh it off most of the time. But sometimes one hit after another does take it out on me.

These challenges chip away my strength and leave me exhausted. I use too much energy running around to put out fires.

On those weary days it’s easy to feel beaten down.  But it’s also possible to endure with your hidden strengths. You don’t have to be dragged down by events that swing you off course.

How can you harness more of your innate strength and power to get past the turbulent days? Keep reading!

I have stepped back from the extreme hustle of medical practice and shaved off taking overnight call.  This is the first time in my career I have every weekend off, which still feels strange. My anesthesia practice falls only on weekdays and if I work on weekends, it’s because I want to.

Despite this, I sometimes still fall into the spiral of exhaustion, fatigue, eating crappy food for comfort and falling behind on what is important to me. On those days it’s easy to only see weakness as my strengths are clouded out by fatigue.

I can’t always prevent tripping over this rabbit hole of consumption, but I can prevent falling in.

Positive character traits and skills are strengths. They carry you through the challenging days.

How to Find Your Strengths as a Busy Doctor Mom

• Think back, find a past example of a similar situation. What strengths got you through?

  I’ll give you an example of what happened to me this week. On a good day my job leaves me tired and drained.  Then, when little hiccups occur, they seem to compound in a way. A series of negative events magnify my exhaustion.

  On Tuesday I arrived at work and discovered my case extended with an add on procedure.  This pushed back an appointment I had to make that day. In turn, this pushed back the time I left downtown, which also added an extra 30 minutes to my 1-hour commute.

  Long story short, I didn’t eat most of all day, I missed my exercise class, and I barely had time to fix dinner, visit with my kids before I had to get to bed and get up early the next day.

  Then, I’m in bed and after about 4 hours of sleep thunder and strobe-like lightning woke me up.  And folks, I usually sleep like a rock. 

  After listening to the rain, which I love, I started hearing a drip. The drip intensified to a splash. I realized this was happening in my own bedroom.

  I turn on the light and hop out of bed. Sure enough, a large puddle was forming under my window, my new window replaced within the last year.  After traipsing around the house with an armload of towels, I found 6 leaking windows. 

  It was now 3:45 AM.

  Then, the power goes out. In my neighborhood here in Texas, our power goes out frequently, storm or not. And it stays out for up to 15-18 hours!  It’s ridiculous, we have candles, lighters, and flashlights at the ready.  

  I realized going back to bed wasn’t an option since I had to wake up in an hour.  I would have to get ready in the dark, skip coffee and leave early to fight traffic and the storm.

  I was bone tired when I got home later that day.

  Two days later, I think I finally recovered from that series of events.

  In short retrospect, I realize all those hiccups, or life struggles, happened within 24 hours, and they were draining, but I had the strength to make it through.

  My strengths that helped were adaptability and self-compassion.

  With my adaptability, I found ways to accomplish the most important activities, like making it to work, finding coffee to be alert for my patient, and spending time with my kids, and listening to their day. I also made sure we all got a healthy meal for dinner that night.

  With my self-compassion, I didn’t beat myself up over missing a workout. In fact, I skipped the following day too as my body was so tired. I took a nap instead. I consciously told myself, “look you’re only human, you don’t need to be superhuman, or a superwoman for anybody, namely yourself.”

  I know you have similar stories where life throws you curve balls. Think about what qualities you harness to get through those days.

  Calmness under pressure is a common strength among doctor moms who routinely have chaotic days. Challenges come at you from all directions, yet you maneuver through these situations with practiced ease.

  Now that you recall triumph over challenging days..

• Think about the good days when all is smooth. What went right to make it a smooth day? We don’t stop to ponder what is going well and why often enough.

Your strengths can shine on the good days too.

Take resilience, for example. We often speak of resilience as overcoming a hardship. But maybe you bounced back from a conflict in your day before you recognize it as trouble. That is a strength!

Or, thinking in broad terms, your strength may be in helping friends or colleagues. Your pattern of kindness comes back to you when they help you. And when that happens your day suddenly gets easier, right?

• What are some strengths you naturally recognize in other people? How do they use those strengths in their life?

I can tell you there are a few common ones I point out to my clients.  It’s rewarding to see them have an “aha” moment when they see it too.

One mom had the most incredible insight into how she ticks and what makes her happy. When I complimented her insight, it was funny that she said, “oh yeah, I do have good insight!”

Another mom was good at asking for help when needed. Others had a secure self-identity, staunch integrity or fierce independence.  I could go on with a long list of strengths not everyone gave themselves credit for having.

I know you are like them too.

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

Solicit your own strengths, you’ve got them, find them. Say it out loud, tell a friend, write it down on a sticky note. Do something to acknowledge to yourself, that “yes” you’ve got this.

You have the experience and the wisdom to recognize your positive skills. Even when you’re not feeling strong you can focus on what is going well. In fact, those are the perfect moments to recognize your talents and own it. Your strengths will carry you through the weary times.

You are incredibly fierce already to get this far in medicine, as a mom, and in life. I have faith in you.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!