Episode 31: Overcoming the Sunk Cost Trap: Strategies for Physician Moms

A wave of nausea gripped her as she plopped in her car and headed to work.

This feeling was nearly every day in the past year and growing.

That was Anna (her name is changed), a successful surgeon and mom of 3 young kids.

Each morning, she brushed aside her body’s little alarm bells to repeat the same nightmare each day.

It clearly wasn’t working for her, so why continue?

She fell victim to the sunk cost fallacy. She was stuck in a cycle of unhappiness, frustration and hesitation to change.

The good news? Once she recognized this repetition, she labeled the true problem and extracted herself from this bad dream.

Are you stuck in a bad dream?

There is a way to climb out.

Here, listen in and let me throw you a rope ladder.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy and Medicine go Hand in Hand

You may know an Anna in your life, or you may just relate to her story.

When Anna reflected on her investment in medicine; the years of training, the outstanding medical school loans, and the hours perfecting her practice she felt good. She did it, she was a great surgeon.

Yet, she eventually started to notice she was physically ill just thinking about work. This was like a “Sunday night blues” on steroids.

Her stress was then affecting her family too, and her kids noticed a change. Her husband kept dropping hints, and even told her something needed to give. But she waved it away in her obligation to continue working.

She made a huge investment in this career and poured her everything into taking excellent care of her patients.

Anna’s story is a great example of the sunk cost fallacy.

This is a cognitive bias that leads people to continue throwing time, money, or effort into a situation even when it’s clear that it’s not working out. That’s it.

In the context of physician moms, this fallacy might manifest in several ways.

This topic fascinates me. To escape this fallacy doesn’t mean quitting medicine, I’m not advocating that as the answer.

It does mean quitting a situation.

What Situations do Physician Moms Want to Quit?

The sunk cost fallacy creeps into many situations in life; it’s not limited to a specialty or career.  Here are some other examples:

• Overstaying in a toxic work environment: For Anna, this was it. Her physical and mental distress over going to work was not about her patients and her surgeries – it was the working environment.
• There was a hostile person she was required to interact with just to do her job. She was constantly walking on eggshells just to keep the day running smooth.
• A toxic work environment could also easily be unrealistic demands, overwhelming work hours or patient load, or bad communication with colleagues and staff.
• Anna’s feeling she had to stay in this environment despite signs it just wasn’t working was her brain operating on a cognitive bias.
• Ignoring personal passions: A physician mom might neglect her personal passions or hobbies because she feels obligated to devote all her time and energy to her medical career.
• Maybe she used to be an avid reader, a secret Michelin level chef who cooked all the time, or a serial marathon runner doing races all over the world.
• Ignoring the passion that makes you, you in favor of continuing the work train because you invested so much is a fallacy.
• Staying in an unhealthy relationship: A physician mom might remain in a toxic or unhappy relationship because she’s invested years with this person and have children to consider.
• Continuing with a failed business venture: If a doc starts a side business that isn’t profitable, she might continue to invest time and money into it, hoping to recoup her losses. Surely, the business will turn a corner and earn at least what was invested!

There are many more situations, of course, but the common thread is this feeling of obligation to continue with something you’ve invested time, money and effort into despite the situation failing.

Maybe you’re thinking of a situation right now that’s affecting you.

By addressing the sunk cost fallacy, you can make informed decisions about how to change the situation.

You can avoid making choices that are based on past investments and instead choose future potential.

How does a Doctor Mom Climb Out of the Bad Dream?

Returning to Anna now, she was stuck in that repeating cycle of frustration with a toxic work environment and a hostile coworker.

It was the physical signs of nausea and a gut-wrenching distaste for going to work that finally woke her up to both the problem and the solution.

She recognized the issue and acknowledged to herself what her husband was telling her all along.

Her brain had been tricking her into thinking she had to make this work, she had to keep going with her situation, she couldn’t walk away.

But once she saw the monster in the room, the solution was clear.

Her investment with this particular surgical center could not continue.

She recognized the sunk cost fallacy for what it meant in her situation. She had now labeled it. “It” was something she could change.

Anna learned to first draw boundaries with this person. And I would love to say that hostile person was fired, but they weren’t. It turns out the best solution was for Anna to find a new group to work with, despite all the time invested at that location.

It was a dramatic change, no doubt, but now she is in a role, still helping patients, still being a rockstar surgeon, but without the daily distress.

Her health improved, she felt more energized. She relishes moments with her family now, because she feels present. She no longer gets a pit in her stomach the night before work.

Here are some ways to identify and challenge a fallacy in your life:

• Recognize the pattern: Are loved ones dropping hints? Are you pushing aside a growing unease? Become aware of when you’re making decisions based on past investments rather than current circumstances.
• Question your assumptions: Ask yourself if your decision to continue with a situation truly the best option?
• I find it hard to question my assumptions because, well they don’t really draw my attention because those thoughts are on autopilot, right?
• I admit, it takes a mini light bulb moment to recognize a pattern that’s not working. Sometimes that is a little anxiety over something or just a gut feeling.
• Then, I can say “Whoa, wait a minute. Should I be continuing this action? Does it even align with my goals and priorities?”
• Decide based on current circumstances, rather than past investments: When I question my assumptions, I need to make sure I am living for what I believe in now, not hanging on to something because I’m so invested in it.
• This can be hard because it means letting go of the past me and nurturing a new me – visualize the future.
• Visualize the future: Imagine the benefits of dropping a situation that’s not working anymore.
• For me, that means getting rid of the unsettled gut feelings and honestly getting a little excited about the possibilities!

In conclusion, the sunk cost fallacy can be a powerful barrier to making positive changes in our lives. It can trap us in situations that are no longer serving us, preventing us from pursuing new opportunities and experiences.

By recognizing the patterns and addressing the sunk cost fallacy, we can free ourselves from its grip and make decisions that align with our true goals and values.

Physician moms often feel a strong sense of obligation to continue with our chosen paths, even when they are no longer fulfilling or sustainable.

But it’s never too late to climb out of the pit of cognitive bias and don’t look back.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!