Episode 50: How Physician Moms Can Prioritize Self-Care in a Demanding World

Time is like an apple pie.

Fresh out of the oven, the aroma grabs you before the first bite. You savor it, thinking there’s more to enjoy, until suddenly, it’s gone.

You’re left wanting just one more little slice.

That’s just like time.

Each day you wake up with a full pie, 24 new slices. But all too soon, they’re gone. Work and the constant demands of life devour every bit.

When you find that self-care is a small, neglected slice, if on the plate at all, you start to feel the effects. Your body sends warning signs as little by little you become depleted.

Here’s the thing, you can’t sustain yourself on crumbs.

So how do you carve out time for yourself when it feels like there’s none left?

In today’s episode, I’ll show you how to reclaim your time and prioritize self-care in a world that constantly demands more.

Helping Physician Moms Take Back Control

Every now and then I just want to remind you all of what I do here at Inspired Mom MDs.

Not long ago I was deeply inspired by another physician mom who really changed the trajectory of my life. She was essentially a colleague and an unbiased thinking partner that helped get me back on track.

We had never met, but we quickly established a rapport during our sessions.

I cherished the value I received from this woman so much I decided to help my fellow physician moms.

So, I designed my 4-month Balanced Physician Moms Program to help physician moms take back control and prioritize what matters most so they can thrive in practice and at home. Over the course of 4 months I meet with each person 1:1 and focus fully on her challenges.

Now that I’ve experienced the possibilities from working one on one with someone, I want to offer the same opportunity to you.

I invite you to a free Discovery call to see if this program is right for you. Just head over to my website InspiredMomMDs.com/work-with-cindy to learn more and sign up for a call. I would love to meet you!

Time is Like an Apple Pie – Its Gone Before You Know it, Doc

Apple pie is one of my favorites and I couldn’t resist weaving it into today’s episode on prioritizing self-care in a demanding world.  

Today’s topic is really about the next step in your journey toward living a value-driven life that’s focused on what matters most.

This is the third episode in a short series, called “Chart Your True North” that is meant to illustrate an alternative to striving to have it all. Having it all is an illusion, or a mirage, as I argued in episode 48. And this journey toward what matters most is like a road trip.

Last week I talked about the first step on this trip. That was to identify your core values, who you want to be, what you care about most. Those questions helped you tune in on your inner compass and set a destination in life, who, what and where you want to be!

Today, I encourage you to fuel up for the journey with self-care.

This phrase is thrown around so much these days it almost sounds cliché, but it’s most definitely not!

How do you find time for the basics, like eating well, getting sleep and movement when work and family takes up every last second of the day?

We live in a demanding world and need to prioritize self-care to give you fuel to keep going.

I have a plan that can help you find time to focus on your wellness too.

What Do You Prioritize First in Motherhood and Medicine?

Choose one thing, the most important thing that you want to change.

You probably need multiple things, I bet, and that can be overwhelming to think about changing.

Like, I need more sleep, I should eat better and why am I only exercising once a week?

The beauty of choosing only one thing is two-fold. Yes, you get to work on that thing and rock it, and two, it has a ripple effect on all the other things that you want to improve, really!

Take sleep, for example. Increasing the minutes you snooze will quite likely reduce afternoon drowsiness which makes you more likely to get up and walk.

Or eating a healthy meal is great for your blood sugar, lipids, you name it, but also helps you feel less like a slug and more energized, not to mention improved mood! (That’s three-fold, but you get the idea.)

Real change in your life comes from a culmination of small, manageable changes. That’s why you can start with just one thing.

You absolutely have the power to make a real change in your self-care and your life. Now, on to wield that power!

Now, here is a caveat: are you ready? Are you physically and mentally ready for that challenge?

I’m saying you don’t need to pick the biggest issue first, pick what you are drawn to, what interests you.

Let’s say yes, you’re ready to work on getting back into cycling. Maybe you used to get out on the open road all the time but now you would settle with just 20 minutes on a stationary bike!

You picked something to prioritize that feels manageable and not too overwhelming.

This is a hill you can climb, one crank of the pedal at a time. You recognize that climbing that hill will take progressive work. You don’t sprint up to the top, you break it down into reasonable action steps.

Self-care is an Appointment with Yourself.

Patients and family take up all your appointment slots in the day, I get it.

Time for a game of “This not That!” You may be familiar with this common phrase meant to help people choose the right foods.

A news article, or book may advocate to “Eat this not that,” like the grilled chicken sandwich instead of the crispy chicken sandwich.

Or it may tell you “drink this not that”. So, instead of a buying mocha Frappuccino make your own with healthy ingredients like chocolate protein powder, almond milk.

I think of prioritizing time in the same way. Finding time for taking care of yourself means swapping out a worse activity. Here’s what I mean.

Every time you say “yes” to something that drains you, you’re saying “no” to what refuels you. So, swap those. Instead of that, choose “this” or that which fuels you.

Identify the things you can say no to. What can you delegate, postpone, or decline? This is definitely about setting boundaries to swap out the “bad” with the “good”. Be sure to tune in next week, when I go all out on boundaries!

Eliminating tasks that drain you for those that fuel you is key.

Get yourself on the schedule by punting the unnecessary appointments.

Reduce Decision Fatigue with Automation of Your Doctor Mom Schedule

Here’s what happens, you begin to simplify your day by reducing decision fatigue.

Once you get yourself on the schedule with an appointment, this takes away one more decision. Just follow the schedule and you will get time for yourself.

Now, block a reoccurring time with yourself, automate your self-care schedule!

You don’t have to do mental math trying to figure out how to squeeze in time. And, you have an easy excuse to say “No, that won’t work, I have something else scheduled.” You don’t owe any explanations either!

There are many other ways to automate self-care, especially when we embrace technology.

Streamlining the food that comes into my house has been a huge time saver and reduced my mental fatigue. We use a combination of a meal kit delivery service, complete meals, and groceries. Many of these are through a subscription service.

We even have our dog food on a subscription!  I hate having to plan a store trip around picking up a 35-50 pound bag of dog food and hauling it home when it could just arrive on time at my front door.

Using your phone and apps to automatically reduce distractions and waste of time.

Free features of your phone like “Do Not Disturb” can help you focus by silencing calls, texts and notifications. You can program this to activate during specific hours, like during your workout, or dinner with your family.

Speaking of phones, the Focus mode (for iPhones) and the Digital Wellbeing (for Android phones) let you block apps that distract you. So, during a focus time, for example, you can customize which apps are allowed, and which are blocked from interrupting your time.

You can also use existing features on your phone to give you a report of your app activity, your screen time and set limits! Boom. It’s not perfect, like when I select “social” it makes me limit all social apps, I can’t pick just Facebook, for example.

You have these features now! But there are also apps to help you streamline productivity. They help keep you on track by eliminating distractions too. I researched a couple just for today’s episode, because I didn’t necessarily want specific times to be blocked, like for social media, I just wanted my overall daily use to decline, which would of course free up time!

One I tried was Forest, it’s a way to gamify focus, which sounded counterintuitive. It actually made me laugh, and then get back to work. I found I spend much less time on my phone overall by using the app. I paid a one time fee of $3.99.

A second app that people seem to like, that I did not sign up for is Freedom. This requires a yearly subscription, which I didn’t want to start, because I have a habit of forgetting those until I get a notice I’m subscribed. Ugh. 

By using technology to automate some parts of life you free up time to divert to self-care activities.

You also reduce decision fatigue and free up mental energy. You are creating a dedicated space, without interruptions to take care of yourself, guilt free.

Reframe Guilt over Self-Care

It is not wrong to take care of yourself. It is so right.

I’m not talking about anything extreme, rather fulfilling a human’s basic needs to get activity, eat well, sleep, have healthy relationships and more.

If you want to run, you don’t need to train for a marathon but can be happy with running for 20-30 minutes. You don’t need to reach a pinnacle of self-care, just do more, feel better and see results in your life. Remember, having it all is an illusion.

You set an example for your kids. You show up for others. And you feel better. Where is the reason for guilt in these?

A Check-In with the Roadmap to What Matters Most

You do have the time; it’s about reclaiming it.

Prioritizing self-care means claiming your piece of the pie.  Taking care of your own wellbeing is how you refill your cup – you fuel up with emotional and physical energy.

Today I talked about some ways to prioritize.

First, pick one thing you want to work on. This first step is a commitment to yourself.

Schedule an appointment for yourself for that activity.

Reduce decision fatigue with automation and streamlining your schedule.

Reframe guilt.

You don’t need to have it all, you just need what really matters.

Please join me next week for the next step in the “Chart Your True North” series when I talk about boundaries.

Boundaries allow you to plot your route by saying yes to what is important and no to detours.

Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!