Become the Leader You Already Are – Without Losing Yourself, with Dr. Asha Padmanabhan

Episode 86: Become the Leader You Already Are – Without Losing Yourself, with Dr. Asha Padmanabhan

• Inspiring Leadership for Women Physicians: Episode Introduction & Guest Welcome
• Why Leadership Gaps Exist for Women Physicians—and How to Close Them
• Emotional Intelligence in Medicine: The Soft Skills Women Physicians Need to Lead
• Imposter Syndrome in Women Physicians: Causes, Patterns, and First Steps to Break Free
• Confident Communication for Physicians: Finding Your Leadership Voice
• Work-Life Integration for Women in Medicine: Balancing Career, Parenting, and Purpose
• Top Leadership Myths in Medicine—and Practical Habits That Actually Work
• Episode Wrap-Up: Key Takeaways & How to Connect With Our Guest

“Am I enough to be a leader?”

If you’ve ever wondered that, you’re not alone.

So many women physicians feel pressure to be louder, tougher, or somehow “more” than they are.

But the truth is simple, we’re not taught how to lead. Not really. And that gap shows up everywhere.

You can save a life without breaking a sweat… but presenting to a room full of executives? Yipes.

So, are you enough?

My guest today says yes – absolutely yes. She says to be successful:

“You don’t have to be anything other than who you are.”

Her name is Dr. Asha Padmanabhan, a leader in anesthesiology and founder of Leadership Rx Coaching. She tackles the persistent questions so many women carry:

• Why do leadership gaps persist?
• How do you move through imposter syndrome?
• And how do you communicate with clarity… without becoming someone you’re not?

This is leadership development for women physicians.

[You’re listening to the Inspired Mom MDs podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Cindy Van Praag. I help physician moms take back control of their time and energy so they can prioritize what matters most and thrive at work and at home. In each episode, I bring you honest conversations, inspiring stories, and practical strategies — including interviews with incredible women who are redefining success on their own terms. Let’s dive in.]

Inspiring Leadership for Women Physicians: Introduction and Welcome for Asha Padmanabhan, MD

Dr. Cindy: I am really excited to introduce my special guest today. Dr. Asha Padmanabhan is a board-certified anesthesiologist and a leadership and mindset coach for physicians.

She's the founder of Leadership Rx Coaching, where she empowers women physicians to build self-leadership, master emotional intelligence and communicate with clarity and confidence.

Through keynote talks, workshops and coaching, she equips physicians with the tools to beat imposter syndrome, reduce self-doubt, and step fully into powerful leadership without sacrificing their wellbeing or their presence at home. Welcome and so happy you're here!

Dr. Padmanabhan: Thank you. I do appreciate the chance to be here because I love your podcast.

Dr. Cindy: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you. I'm just going to start with a quick warmup question. It should be easy, but it might not be. If you could describe your leadership style in one word, what would it be?

Dr. Padmanabhan: Hmm. I think it would be transformational and inclusive. Well, that's two words, but that's what it would be.

Dr. Cindy: Transformational and inclusive. Got it. Okay. And I bet we're going to touch on those as we start talking about leadership today.

Why Leadership Gaps Exist for Women Physicians—and How to Close Them

Dr. Cindy: Let's start at the beginning. With the gap that so many women feel between what we are trained to do and what real world leadership requires, why do you think it is that so many talented women physicians feel unprepared for leadership, especially when they're excelling and they're amazing physicians?

Why are they unprepared for that part?

Dr. Padmanabhan: If you think back to our training, we are taught to be wonderful clinicians, physicians. We are taught how to diagnose and how to treat, and the focus is all on that.

So, if you think back to our training, do you recall being taught how to manage a team? How to present to a room full of executives? Or even if you're talking not about anesthesia, but in general, managing your private practice – we were never taught any of the skills because the focus in medicine is so much on becoming a good doctor that we pride ourselves on that.

But we, I think, do a big disservice to our clinicians when we don't teach them the soft skills that we need to be successful in the workplace. And I think that's a big part of this with women physicians.

The other part of this is if you think back to our training, what were the role models that we had who were in leadership? Most of them were men. There were very few women. And if you were not a loud, you know, firm woman, then you didn't get anywhere.

And most people are not that, I feel among women physicians.

And that always, there's that gap. And I think that's why women physicians struggle to see themselves as a leader. Because in our minds a leader is male and assertive and loud and we are not, many of us are not that. Although there are wonderful women physicians who are, and they have a problem as well sometimes.

Emotional Intelligence in Medicine: The Soft Skills Women Physicians Need to Lead

Dr. Cindy: Yes, and I have a question specifically about that today, but that's true. When I think back to my training. Most of my attendings were male, and I really didn't get that role model. And as you mentioned, the soft skills are not taught in medical school or residency.

What are some of those soft skills that you're thinking about when you mention that, that women could be taught?

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yeah. A big part of that is I think since my own journey into leadership happened in such an accidental way, and I feel that many women physicians have that kind of accidental foray into leadership.

We are not taught to be emotionally intelligent, meaning self-awareness, because I think that's really, really key in becoming a leader or even owning ourselves as leaders – because we feel that the imposter thoughts that we have are actually valid. And so, we don't believe ourselves as leaders.

So I think the emotional intelligence part is huge, not just for us, but also to be able to manage people that we work with. The peers, the nurses, the nursing staff, all of that. And I think that's where it starts. I really think it starts there.

Dr. Cindy: Right, right. And you did mention that ee don't have training on how to lead teams. And I think that the only training I had on how to speak to a large crowd was during M and M, during morbidity, mortality. In rotations where you're thrown up in front of the room, for those who don't know, is to describe a case that you know had maybe had an adverse outcome.

And what you learn from it. And it's the idea I love because we learn from our mistakes and others' mistakes and what we can do differently. But the setting was not conducive to learning how to speak to an audience. It was very toxic. And you were kind of pummeled up there. Um, so yeah, I don't mean to bring up a toxic memory, but yeah.

Dr. Padmanabhan: What is the lesson we take away from that?

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: It’s that speaking up in public, if you make a mistake, that's a problem.

And then you are sometimes vilified, and I don't know about your residency, but I mean, my anesthesia residency was wonderful, but I did do a surgical internship and that was where I got my lessons of: A- can't speak up, B- if you speak up, then you have to be able to defend yourself stringently.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And that's kind of the lessons we take away from that.

Dr. Cindy: And what you're saying is emotional intelligence is something that we could pull in and help current residents and fellows and everybody in training right now.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes, I agree.

I think a big part of that is also it helps you to separate out what's happening around you and your thoughts from what everyone else is saying, because a lot of times we become defensive and learning that not everything is personal is also huge.

Dr. Cindy: Right. It's having a shift in your mindset.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yeah.

Imposter Syndrome in Women Physicians: Causes, Patterns, and First Steps to Break Free

Dr. Cindy: That isn't always intuitive. Now you have touched on imposter syndrome,

Dr. Padmanabhan: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Cindy: …which is a heavy topic. What patterns have you noticed when it comes to imposter syndrome among women in medicine?

Dr. Padmanabhan: So many, I mean, I'm a perfect example of this. I felt, like I said, I now say I voluntold myself into leadership. But it was obviously there to start with that I applied for a position I did not feel ready for.

I think what I see in a lot of women physicians is that we feel that we need to be 110% prepared for any role before we would apply for it.

Where I see the men apply for stuff when they have 60-70% of the skills.

So, what I find, both for myself and from all the women physicians I've coached, is this thought that I'm not ready. I'm not enough. I don't belong here.

Those imposter thoughts I think really hold us back from putting our names in the hat when there's a position available, volunteering for positions that come up that we might be interested on, but we never think that we are ready for it or capable of it.

And I see so many women physicians not reach their potential because they've never even applied for a position and the quote that, you know, “You miss a hundred percent of the chances you don't take” is so very truthful in many physicians.

Dr. Cindy: And this perpetuates the problem where you find mostly men in these leadershiproles.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes.

Dr. Cindy: They go in less qualified, possibly, than women.

How can women catch themselves in this thought pattern and start applying for more and step into these roles?

Dr. Padmanabhan: I think a lot of it comes from recognizing that those thoughts are there and that's not who you are and that you are capable. You have finished med school; all of us pretty much go through that rigorous training.

There's something in us. And then to say, like so many women physicians I meet would say, “but I'm not a leader.”

And I would say, “Look at what you have done. Look at what you have done. Look at the people you lead. You might not have a title, but you're a leader.”

I think helping women physicians recognize that the steps they have taken that are actually leadership steps is the start.

And then helping them, coaching them to get to the next step of whatever it looks like for their career. That would be key to getting them to recognize that what they're doing is already leadership. It doesn't have to be a title.

Dr. Cindy: So, these can be things that they come to realize on their own, but coaching,

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes.

Dr. Cindy: …as you're mentioning, can really help people leap forward.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes. I found that in my own journey.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: It was 10, almost 10 years into leadership, and I still felt like an imposter. I still felt like I was in the positions that I was in because no one else wanted to do it.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And that I would be found out, and you know, all those thoughts that we all have. And it took lots of training and coaching to learn to recognize that those are thoughts that we all have, but we can actually look for the truth and recognize that that's not always the truth.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm. And then, do you find that women who do step into these roles while they feel imposter syndrome lose that feeling or does it always stick with you? Is it something you can kind of shake or push to the side?

Dr. Padmanabhan: I think with training and coaching, you can push it to the side, or more importantly, accurately, you can learn to recognize it.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And take action. Because I think a lot of women physicians recognize the imposter thoughts.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: But then they don't know what to do with it. They just think that they can power through it or tell their brains not to think that way.

And it'll be fine and you know, until the next challenge happens. But learning that there are ways that you can subdue, that voice in your head is key to getting past that.

I don't think those thoughts will go away completely, but they may be less, or it may take a bigger trigger for them to come through than most daily situations that cause those thoughts.

Dr. Cindy: Right. And, and when you're learning these techniques to deal with those thoughts, the more you use them, the more they become habit.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes. Practice.

Confident Communication for Physicians: Finding Your Leadership Voice

Dr. Cindy: Practice. Yes.

Now I'd love to explore communication. Specifically, how can women in medicine lead with clarity at work?

I think you touched on this a little earlier too, but about women who happen to be loud, we are so thankful for those women…

Dr. Padmanabhan: So much, mm-hmm.

Dr. Cindy: …and those who feel like they don't want to be too much, or they don't want to be labeled as too direct or labeled a nasty word when they're at work.

How do you help those women find their voice and communicate without hurting their career and their relationships?

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yeah. So important. It is so important to recognize that you don't have to be anything other than you are.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: It's the key, first, I think, and from personal experience as someone who's soft spoken and an introvert who got into leadership and thought that she had to be loud to be heard and realized very soon that that was not working, it just left me unhappy.

And then recognizing that I have strengths. My women physician clients, they have strengths, recognize that and know that being direct can be done with kindness. It doesn't have to be direct and unkind.

Learning to recognize your own strengths and playing to that rather than your idea of what that ideal leader looks like is a key. For example, since I've been anesthesia chief at my hospital and I still felt like if someone negated what I was saying then that was I was taking it personally.

For example, if I said I want to delay a case, and the surgeon was starting to yell at me, and that for years it was, I would retreat, become defensive and or try to raise my voice and shout at that person. None of which worked well.

And until I recognized that, you know, I am not that type of person who can do that. But what I can do is be the voice of calm in that room.

So, deescalating the situation with calm and then pulling that person aside somewhere out of the environment that was creating or fostering that conflict and then calmly talking through that situation maybe 10 minutes later, maybe half a day later, sometime like that, learning that that way of communication was also fine.

I did not have to stand there and yell back at him.

Dr. Cindy: Right.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And I could still get the same stuff done. I think that's kind of what I talk and teach women physicians, is that you don't have to take on a persona of someone you are not.

You can just celebrate who you are and learn to use those trends in a way that you can manage the conflict around you and the people around you in a better way, because if you're loud you're called that expletive word.

But for those women physicians who are that way, then embrace that. But recognize that you can do it with kindness and you don't have to dumb it down either. And really reading the room.

Dr. Cindy: You don't have to be someone you're not. You are enough. This is my takeaway.

I think that calm power that you are bringing to these discussions as you politely talk about it with kindness, I think people can really pick up on that. Don't be afraid to do that, not you [my guest], but I'm just thinking to myself, yes, don't be afraid to do that. Don't be afraid to just be calm and be myself but speak with authority and confidence.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And don't think that's weakness, because a lot of women physicians think that is weakness –that they're giving in in the moment.

It's not giving in in the moment. It's choosing the time and the place to do it properly.

Dr. Cindy: Right. Reading the room, like you said.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes,

Dr. Cindy: Yes, absolutely. I've had those encounters too, as an anesthesiologist.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes.

Dr. Cindy: My loyalty is to the patient and their safety, and not to egos and personalities, my ego or their ego. It's all about the patient.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes, and I think for me, the other key thing was recognizing that for the surgeon, it too, it is the patient, but the way that person is seeing the wellbeing of the patient might be different from the way I'm seeing the wellbeing of the patient.

Seeing both those perspectives helped me to be able to deal with that kind of conflict.

Dr. Cindy: Oh, excellent point. I'm not saying that the other person is not trying to take care of the patient, but there are two different ways to come at it. Absolutely.

Thank you for clarifying that.

Work-Life Integration for Women in Medicine: Balancing Career, Parenting, and Purpose

Dr. Cindy: Now let's talk about your own career growth. In this world that tells us what we should do versus what we want to do, what advice do you give women who are feeling conflicted between wanting more in their careers, but they should fill in the blank…

They should have more family time, or they should just be doing this, that, or the other. What if they just want more in their careers? What about these “shoulds”? What do you think about that word?

Dr. Padmanabhan: Why not? You have spent so many years training and struggling and sacrificing for this. Why shouldn't you get what you want?

But the key I think is to recognize what it is that you want and what timeframe that you want and what period of your life, what season of your life you want it in.

Dr. Cindy: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Because everything at once might not happen. You have to figure out what's important to you in that particular season of your life. And if the career is important, then how do you want to balance that with your family?

And it doesn't have to be because there have to be ebbs and flows in each.

It doesn't mean you can rise in your career, and you have to sacrifice your family, but you can figure out what part takes precedence on a particular day in a particular moment.

And [to] do it that way, I think you really have to be clear on what you want and how you're going to get there, and what sacrifices you're willing to make to do that.

Dr. Cindy: And getting clear on what you want involves what, how do you help people get clear on that?

Dr. Padmanabhan: I think the biggest key for me was learning what my values are because that was not something that I'd ever given or paid attention to until my first coach sat me down and took me through the whole values list, and that's when I started figuring out what things were important to me and when and why.

So, when I do this myself, I do this every year, but also because it changes, you know? Your values will stay the same, but how you honor them will change.

I kept saying it's important to have family time, but I wasn't doing anything about it. I was still working extremely hard and not being mentally present.

Then when I realized that my value was my family time, I really made sure that whatever time I had with my family, I was fully present, and I had to shift some things around to make that happen.

I always say, my son going off to college was a wakeup call because my daughter was five years behind. And I realized that. After that, I wouldn't have time with her.

I really made an effort to honor that and made time to spend more time with her than I had with my son.

I want other women physicians to do that earlier on in their career when their kids are little. So, learn what you want. But you know, maybe at that time if I'd learned that I might have taken one less committee meeting and spent that time in a park with my kid,

Dr. Cindy: Right.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And I think that's where it starts, is figuring out what you want.

It didn't mean that I would give up the leadership part, it would mean that I would slot it in different parts of my time and be present with my kids more. So that is, I think, the key to starting, that's what I kind of help people figure out is what is it that they want.

And some people, they're okay in that season of their life to take a little less family time and focus on the presentation or the position or whatever but then realizing that they're fine with that.

Dr. Cindy: Being focused on your values – it definitely helps with direction and just realizing if you want to focus on one thing like your career, that does, doesn't mean you have to do that for 10 years straight.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Exactly.

Dr. Cindy: Because everything has a season and like you mentioned, your, your older child is going off to college and your young one being at home. And That's the position I'm in. So that's really resonating. My son went off to college and my daughter's here and it, and it just, wow.

There are so many turning points in life that really make you stop and reevaluate what's important.

I love your answer. Thank you for explaining that.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Thank you.

Top Leadership Myths in Medicine—and Practical Habits That Actually Work

Dr. Cindy: What is one myth about leadership or success in medicine that you wish you could debunk?

Dr. Padmanabhan: That you have to be a certain kind of personality to have a leadership title.

It does not have to be someone who is an innate leader. Most of these skills can be learned.

It just needs you to say yes before you feel that you're ready. Most of my leadership positions have come because I have said yes, even when I felt not felt ready. And I think that's where you start.

And literally every physician is a leader. I mean, look at what you do.

Dr. Cindy: Oh, absolutely.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Look at what you do. You're a leader. Why don't you recognize it?

Dr. Cindy: Right. So that's one myth too, is that “I'm not a leader” when you already are.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes, exactly.

Dr. Cindy: This is my final wrap up question – what is one practice that you rely on for your own emotional fitness and leadership strength?

Dr. Padmanabhan: Oh, I love this one. I love this one. So, I have been leaning on positive intelligence for the last couple of years since I started learning about it. And it's a way that I practice that every morning, couple of minutes a day.

It's positive intelligence, mental fitness exercises. I have an alarm set on my phone at certain points of the day where it vibrates and it reminds me to stop and focus on one particular thing. It could be the patient that I'm talking to. It could be the chart I'm looking at, but it just helps ground me and focuses me and helps me relax.

So, I think that really has helped me. The practice of positive intelligence has really helped me become a more calm, centered, grounded leader and human being and spouse and parent.

Dr. Cindy: That's interesting. You have a practice, but it's specifically timed to go off when you're at work or when you're with other people.

It's not that you're setting aside separate private time for yourself for this.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Correct. It has to work when in real life, right? I could sit and meditate for 15 minutes a day in the morning, but you know, that might not help me the rest of the day. In the busiest moments to use a tool like that, that really helps me.

Dr. Cindy: That’s so fascinating because you can't say no to that idea that I'm too busy, because that's the whole point is to catch you when you're busy and just spend a quick moment.

How did you learn about positive Intelligence? (In case anybody wants to do that too.)

Dr. Padmanabhan: I was introduced to it, but by another coach friend and I went through the training, and I just loved it so much because it really makes becoming emotionally intelligent so much easier.

So, people who want to look at that can look at the Positive Intelligence website. And that's where they can find it. And they can find me, and I can help them with that. But that's where it's at.

Episode Wrap-Up: Key Takeaways & How to Connect With Our Guest

Dr. Cindy: And how do people find you? I know you do keynote speeches and workshops and coaching. How do people find you for all this information?

Dr. Padmanabhan: The best way is from LinkedIn, social media and my email, and I can give you that after this. But LinkedIn or Facebook would be a great start.

Dr. Cindy: Perfect. I will definitely link them

Dr. Padmanabhan: …On my podcast.

Dr. Cindy: That's right. Tell us the name of your podcast.

Dr. Padmanabhan: It's the Leadership RX for Women Physicians.

Dr. Cindy: Got it. And I imagine you dive into a lot of these topics you talked about today.

Dr. Padmanabhan: Yes. Yes. I teach what I've learned myself

Dr. Cindy: mm-hmm.

Dr. Padmanabhan: And what helps me.

Dr. Cindy: So, if anyone wants to learn more about leadership, go to her podcast too. Such an important topic.

I am so grateful that you came here today to talk to me. This is exciting and it is really nice to talk to another anesthesiologist and coach. I know I need to let you go, but thank you for being here,

Dr. Padmanabhan: I loved it. Thank you so much for having me.

[Thank you for tuning in today to Inspired Mom MDs. If this episode resonates with you, please share with a friend who may benefit too. And I humbly ask to please leave a review so other doctor moms can find me too!
Just a quick reminder – this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for medical advice or care. I’m a board-certified physician, but this content isn’t connected to my clinical practice, and no doctor-patient relationship is formed here. Please always talk to your own health professional about any mental or physical health concerns. And as always, take what helps and leave the rest. Please see InspiredMomMDs.com for full disclaimer.]

Guest Speaker Links:

• LinkedIn – http://linkedin.com/in/ashapadmanabhan
  
• Podcast – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-leadership-rx-for-women-physicians/id1531236342
  
• Email – asha@theleadershiprx.com