Episode 24: Making Time for Mom: A Physician’s Perspective

“I just don’t have the time.”

When I asked over 20 physician moms what they would want if they could have
anything 3 or 6 months from now – time was a top contender for the number 1
thing.

Oh, to have more of this precious resource!

You can spend more time with your kids, friends, and family. You can have
more hobbies, or heck, restart a dormant hobby. Pick up the old knitting
needles and dust off your favorite cooking book.

You can also travel – imagine what that looks like!

We all have the same amount of time, 24 hours, 1440 minutes, or 86,400
seconds in a day.

I would argue, you do have the time.

So, where do you find it and what do you do with it when found? Keep listening to find out.

Helping Physician Moms Take Back Control

Hi, and thank you for joining me! Every now and then I just want to remind
you all of what I do here at Inspired Mom MDs.

Not long ago I was deeply inspired by another physician mom who really
changed the trajectory of my life. She was essentially a colleague and an
unbiased thinking partner that helped get me back on track.

We had never met, but we quickly established a rapport during our sessions.

I cherished the value I received from this lady so much I decided to help my
fellow physician moms.

So, I designed my 4-month Balanced Physician Moms Program to help physician
moms take back control and prioritize what matters most so they can thrive
in practice and at home. Over the course of 4 months, I meet with each
person 1:1 and focus fully on her challenges.

Now that I’ve experienced the possibilities from working one on one with
someone, I want to offer the same opportunity to others.

I invite you to a free Discovery call to assess if this program is right for
you. Just head over to my website
InspiredMomMDs.com/work-with-cindy</a >
to learn more and sign up for a call.

Now back to the main topic today which is time, or lack thereof.

In the hectic world of medicine and parenthood, it’s easy to get caught up
in the relentless demands of daily life.

It’s easy to fall into patterns where we spend too much time on what we dislike and not enough on what we love. It’s time to break free from this cycle.

By reclaiming our time and focusing on what we truly desire, we can live
more fulfilling and meaningful lives.

Let’s talk about where to find time and what to do with it when you find it.

Finding the Elusive Time (With Boundaries)

Protect it, it’s arguably one of our most valuable assets.

Basic assets in your life, like a house or car, require maintenance to remain stable and
sound, right? Personal time requires maintenance too!

Your priority is maintaining your schedule and who gets dibs on your time.
And funny thing, when you set boundaries around time you inarguably find
more time.

Now this is exciting because that is what so many women are asking for!
(That is why this is one of the 4 pillars of my 4-month VIP Balanced Physician Moms Program.
)

I’ll give you a few maintenance tips on time:

• • First, there are free minutes, hours even, that get lost in between work,
    family, and sleep. Those are the minutes that aren’t assigned a spot on
    your schedule – not that you need every waking moment accounted for. But
    if you want more time, this works.

• • I’ll give an interesting example from author Stephen King out of his book
    On Writing. As much as he is a prolific writer – he is a voracious
    reader. He doesn’t always schedule reading times on his planner either.

• • Stephen King’s secret is to bring a book with him everywhere. He will have it at a doctor’s appointment or literally any place where he may be stuck waiting with minutes slipping away.

• • The result? He reads an insane number of books by capturing those gap minutes and feeding his soul with words.

• My next tip is to prioritize what aligns with your strongest professional
  and personal values. That’s what Stephen King does as a writer. How would
  that look for you?

• As a personal example, one of my greatest values is to love and support my
  kids in a way that they become strong independent young adults.

• To do this I prioritize their texts during the day. That is one thing that I
  stop for, unless I am actively taking care of a patient. And they know when
  mom is unavailable except for an emergency. But it’s all those other times,
  I answer.

• I answer because they only really text when they have a real issue, feel
  anxious, or want to share something incredibly joyful that just happened. I
  want to share that joy too!

• Essentially, I am filling in those minutes here and there throughout the day
  to make a solid contribution to my value of loving my kids. It makes a
  difference, and I don’t have to write that on the calendar.

• My last time tip today is to draw boundaries for the time you do pencil in
  on that planner. What do you choose to write? Who or what gets priority?

• Did you include self-care like exercise and its cascade of health
  benefits?

• Did you factor in having a healthy meal to avoid grazing on whatever is
  available?

• And, most importantly, when you do schedule your most valuable time spots,
  defend them from change. Don’t delete. They must stay there or flip with
  another event, but don’t erase what’s most valuable to you.

Making the Time You Have More Rewarding

So, not only not wasting time, but redefining what “waste time” means.

Until not so long ago, I felt guilt about being lazy or wasting productive time if
I took a nap. Or God forbid I sat down to read a book – those were only
allowed as audio books while traveling to and from work.

I have learned to appreciate the extra sleep revives my brain and body. I
can picture all the microscopic cellular waste bins getting emptied. I can
envision my muscles crowded with little repair teams, like the pit crews on
a racetrack, fixing the source of muscle fatigue.

I have learned that reading is one of the most enriching uses of my time! I
thirst for knowledge and its benefits are multifold. I always have a new
conversation starter. I learn ways to improve my life. I learn about other
people in this world, what makes them tick and how we are all culturally
different, yet really the same on the inside, physically and emotionally.

I have reframed how I look at these activities as not wasting time, but as a
wise investment in my human form, so that I can keep performing, and
hopefully perform better!

I’ll let you in on one “time waster” I still struggle to reframe – going to
watch a movie.

I’m not talking about streaming one in the living room. It’s
too easy to multitask here, hit pause and finish cooking dinner, or hit
pause and make that one phone call.

I’m talking about picking seats, buying tickets, and having a scheduled time
I need to be out of the house. And then, it’s what, 3 hours before I’m home
and can be productive again! That’s a big commitment without feeling at
least a little guilty for wasting my time.

What I need to work on here is redefining how I view time for that movie,
the same I do for sleep or reading.

I view going out to a movie, for me, as a luxury and a reward. I don’t need to run out and see each new blockbuster, and sadly there seem to be fewer of those these days. But I do want the excitement of breaking away and doing something only for myself.

I need to accept this is not selfish. Can you relate?

It’s Not Selfish to Take Moments for Yourself

It is a little easier to justify if I am going with my family or friends. I
then get credit for socializing (check!) or giving time to my family
(check!).

But what about the activities you make time for that involve only you? Well,
you could argue those also benefit family and friends because you become a
better human when you take care of yourself, right?

So, there is no clear line between what helps me and what helps others. It
is a give and take, a balance. That harmony is what I strive for. It’s what
so many physician moms strive for too.

I spoke much more on this topic in Episode 4: How a Mom Doc Can Reduce Feeling Selfish for Prioritizing Herself.

Today I gave 3 tips on finding elusive time, spoke about making the most of
discovered time and reminded you it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself.
This is a journey, not a destination. It takes patience, persistence, and a
willingness to prioritize your needs.

By reclaiming your time and focusing on what truly matters, you’re taking a
powerful step toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and
inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who
matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!