Episode 37: Rewrite Your Script: Your New Normal as a Doctor Mom

I balance 2 full time jobs – as a full-time physician and full-time mom/wife/daughter/you-name-it.

Can you relate?

But human capacity is finite.

As a young mom, when I was a full-time anesthesiologist, I constantly juggled stress and sacrifice.

I slept less, ate not so great, convenient food, and rarely took the time to decompress.

I was so accustomed to chronic stress and chaos that it felt normal.

Until it caught up with me years later, and I recognized the physical signs and symptoms of a problem.

I understood it was time to pivot and turn things upside down a bit.

Now, when any of those physical symptoms of stress return, it is so obvious!

I found my new normal. And so can you.

What is the solution? Take a listen.

Helping Physician Moms Take Back Control

Every now and then I just want to remind you all of what I do here at Inspired Mom MDs.

Not long ago I was deeply inspired by another physician mom who really changed the trajectory of my life. She was essentially a colleague and an unbiased thinking partner that helped get me back on track.

We had never met, but we quickly established a rapport during our sessions.

I cherished the value I received from this woman so much I decided to pay it forward.

So, I designed my 4-month Balanced Physician Moms Program to help physician moms take back control and prioritize what matters most so they can thrive in practice and at home. I meet with each person 1:1 to focus fully on her challenges and tailor an approach to feeling better, one step at a time.

I experienced a transformative process, and I know if I can do it, so can you!

I invite you to a free Discovery call to assess if this program is right for you. Just head over to my website InspiredMomMDs.com/work-with-cindy to learn more about the program and sign up for a call.

Hey Doc, Time to Acknowledge Burnout and Chronic Stress is Not Normal

How the heck do you do that?

If you are asking, then perhaps you already acknowledge a current state of burnout and stress as not normal.

Physicians are indoctrinated to think and feel that exhaustion and physical stress is just part of the job – so it feels normal.

For short bursts of time, sure stress can be good. It gets our bodies and minds pumped for tackling a complex patient, performing a 7-hour surgery, or running a code.

But in the long term, chronic stress doesn’t help one bit. Often, many signs are overlooked because they are gradual and insidious.

Common and unique signs of burnout:

Physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, gut issues, frequent illness, among many others can be subtle, but important clues.

Emotional Symptoms sneak in also, such as irritability, anxiety, lack of motivation or compassion, and starting to hate your job. How about cynicism? That is a common one among physicians.

Behavioral changes may creep in also, including social withdrawal, difficulty making decisions due to overwhelm, or reliance on substances like alcohol, food or even drugs.

Recognizing these feelings and symptoms do not need to be accepted. They do not need to feel normal. This is the first step.

That was an “aha” moment for me when I realized that while I was the captain of my ship, I had been letting the crew take over for far too long.

I was letting life circumstances dictate what I should be doing, which was too much. I was trying to live up to my own expectations of what a good mom does and how an excellent physician should perform.

Those external circumstances and my internal expectations were leading me astray – they were like the crew on my ship. My rational brain is the captain. I also consider my heart my co-captain.

Understanding the Need for Change as a Physician and/or Mother

With that aha moment, I understood the need for change.

I recognized the impact on my health and by extension, my family.

The health impacts became obvious with each new ache and pain. And my eyes were opened to the impact on the relationships in my life.

I was not showing up as a full person for my kids and husband. And I wasn’t being the role model I wanted to be for my kids.

In retrospect, it is all so clear, as hindsight usually is. I am so grateful for how my life is now with the balance and time to live more aligned with my values.

I can prioritize my most important relationships. I make sure to include vital self-care. This is a welcome change from my previous superwoman self.

Where Do You Start to Find Your New Normal at Work and Home?

As with most things in life, it’s a process to make a change, but so worth it!

After acknowledging something is not right with the norm, and understanding a change needs to come, start with one small step.

Small steps can have a big impact.

What is the most pressing issue that needs to change, that you have the motivation to change and most importantly, you are ready to change. This thought process alone is a step!

Settling on a direction should be rewarded because sometimes that’s hard to do! Or maybe it is super obvious what needs to happen and you can bounce to the next step.

What might that look like?

For those who literally don’t have a spare minute in the day, maybe use the drive time to work to think, if you’re not already on the phone answering messages.

Or, how about in the shower. You have hopefully 5-10 minutes without interruption. Though, I remember the days when one baby was sleeping in the bouncy seat as my toddler played on the floor of my bathroom when I showered.

Find the time to think.

This is where the magic begins.

What would make your life easier, right now?

Is it a focus on reprioritizing tasks? Is it saying “no” to cooking up a dish and attending a potluck get together? (I just said no to this yesterday for a meetup that wasn’t particularly high on my importance list.) Or perhaps you’re ready for a bigger step of negotiating more sane work hours.

There are a million little things that can change, right? It comes down to finding what’s most important to you, right now, that will have some positive impact – big or small.

The magic continues when the dozens or hundreds of little changes you do make lead to the life you envision.

This is a process and a transformation that I am blessed to see in the women I talk to, so I know it’s possible. And, I am living proof, if I can do it, so can you.

By embracing change and adapting to new circumstances, physician moms can create a more sustainable and fulfilling work-life balance.

A Few Last Words of Inspiration for Mom Docs

Finding your new normal often means making more time for yourself to discover, get excited and recharged. Does your second full time job need to be full time? Maybe for a little while, yes, until you can make changes.

But find the time to think today. From there, plan your changes changes and take the first step.

You deserve more time for yourself. Think of the possibilities when you allow yourself time and peace to live in the moment, embrace your inner goals, and have more energy.

With that first step, you succeed. And guess what? Each little success, or milestone afterwards builds momentum and confidence to keep going.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!