Episode 38:
How Can Doctor Moms Thrive Now While Striving for More?

Time is fickle.

When you want it to speed up, it grinds to a halt.

When you want it to slow down, it gains speed.

What is it I want right now in my life?

Security and confidence that it will all be ok.

To stay active and not let my stiff joints and tendons slow me down.

Less exhaustion.

Continue to have fun.

What do I need to do to get there?

Set goals, plan, execute realistic steps.

Though, they may be weeks or months away to the finish line.

But what do I do in this space of time before change happens?

It can feel unsettling, like an antsy energy of wanting more.

But there is a way to manage these feelings.

Today I’ll share 5 key questions to ask yourself to find peace.

The Challenge is in the Wait, for a Fast-Moving Physician

I am one of those people that gets pumped when I see a new book about
overcoming challenges to reach a new plateau of success in health or habits.
There are so many like Drive, Tiny Habits or
Change Your Diet Change Your Mind, which are on my current reading
list.

And the books I have read were filled with similar advice. I only wish I had
photographic memory to reference them in daily life!

These writers teach how to set and achieve a new goal to make your life
better in some way – whether feeling fit, being happier or achieving more.

The goals are good, and the plans of action are even better. But they take
time. It is a process to lose 10 pounds, sleep better or increase how long
you can walk or run.

And I always say, progress over perfection is key. That’s true.

But what about in the meantime?

How do I wait out the process of feeling better when I want to feel better
now?

How do I enjoy this moment?

What Do You Do with the Moments of Time Before a Goal is
Achieved?</strong >

Here’s what I’m learning to do, and I say learning because it is a process.

Let myself be where I am.

The key word is “let”. If you allow it, it will happen. It’s something you
can relax into, let go.

Women physicians have this incredible work ethic and drive that is hard to
shut off or dial down sometimes, right?

The constant going and going doesn’t allow for appreciating what you are
flying past. Pretty soon, you’re missing your child’s next milestone, the
school play, or even the change of seasons.

There certainly isn’t any time to squeeze in appreciating yourself, right?

5 Questions a Doctor Mom Can Ask Today

I ask myself 5 crucial questions to ground me when life is flying too fast
and I just want to make it to my goals, to feel better.

Who</strong > are my special people I get to see today?

One person springs to mind, my daughter. She asked if I would teach her
parallel parking today after work. My answer was a huge “Yes!”

I feel so privileged to one, be who she asked, and two, get to spend time
teaching my kid a valuable lesson.

As a Chicago girl, I’m intimately aware of the value of parallel parking
skills.

Each interaction with a loved one is a worthy moment to savor.

What</strong > have I accomplished as of now?

This is huge.

Have you ever sat down to write out all your accomplishments? It’s a long
list!

What about just focusing on what you accomplished this year, this month or
week? Whatever time frame you choose, I know there will be a list.

For me, it feels a little boastful. But truthfully, I’m not writing it out
to publish on social media, it is meant just for me. Of course I can remind
myself of accomplishments!

When</strong > is the best moment of my day?

Oh wow, this is an easy one for me – crawling in bed and turning off the
light.

The older I get, the more I relish sleep. I feel like I am trying to make up
for all those years of late nights studying, sitting in an OR at midnight,
or feeding my baby at 3:00 AM.

Maybe for you it’s getting to sit down at the dinner table with family, or
device-free time reading a few pages of a book or walking the dog around the
block.

Where</strong > am I now – in relationships, career, or wellness?

True, you may be striving for change in one or more of these areas but
reflect where you sit now.

Where are the good bits of your relationships with friends or family you
enjoy now? How about in your career?

Where do you make smart choices and see strengths in your wellness routine
now?

This is a bit of an assessment to see how far you’ve come.  It is another
exercise in appreciating all these positive aspects you have now on the path
of strengthening relationships, building a career, or maintaining a healthy
body and mind.

How</strong > do I find my joy?

I have too many to list and talk about, but I’ll focus on just one.

I have a joy for learning that is only growing stronger.

The more I learn, the less I know, the more I want to learn. It’s a
thrilling ride!

How do you find your joy?

All of these questions help me be content with what I have now as I embrace
changes to make it better.

For a moment of time, a few heartbeats, think over what you might answer.

Let yourself be just where you are.

Focus Energy on Who You Are Today as a Mother and Physician

The future is hypothetical. Don’t squander too much energy dwelling on it.

List your Who, What, When, Where, and How today.

Now, sink in to where you are now, today.

Have fun, stay active, hug your loved ones.

And of course, continue to strive for more, but do it with a rational mind.
Keep to reasonable changes and steps while enjoying your life now.

I’ll finish with a personal story about working toward a goal, not quite
reaching it, but having fun, nonetheless.

Take, for example the phrase,
how do you learn a new language? One word at a time.

This past summer my family planned a trip to the Netherlands. I have the
Duolingo app and decided to learn some key phrases and language structure to
help us get around.

I’ve done this before with other places and it really seemed to help by
showing local people I was at least trying!

Well, the little bird on Duo was fixated on teaching me how to order a
sandwich, “boterham,” in Dutch. I got it. But that’s not very
practical when I really wanted to learn “Thank you very much” or
how to properly greet people morning, noon and night.

Fast forward to the hour-long customs line in Amsterdam. There were a few
American young men in line behind us, laughing. Apparently, they had the
same idea to use the Duo bird to learn Dutch.

All they knew, too, was how to order a sandwich and a beer!

Ik neem een ​​boterham en een biertje. (I’ll have a sandwich and a
beer.)</em >

I felt validated.

I never reached my goal of conversing in Dutch, but I had a hilarious moment
trying to get there.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and
inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who
matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!