Episode 39: Gratitude for the Win: How it can Transform Life as a Physician Mom

You just want to get home.

Long hours, disgruntled patients (or families), and bumper to bumper traffic has you yearning for your couch.

Once home, you’re met with all kinds of normal life tension which is now somehow amplified.

And where does this leave you?

You’re left to ruminate in stress, anxiety, and exhaustion.

But these states of being open the door wide open.

It lets in more harmful thoughts and toxic emotions.

And this is a major contributor to burnout.

What if I told you there’s a simple, yet powerful tool that can transform your life, both personally and professionally?

It’s called gratitude.

It’s an effective method to close that door of negativity.

And it has surprising health benefits.

It’s gratitude for the win in overall wellbeing.

Today I’ll discuss how it does this and some tips to get started.

Why Choose Gratitude to Fight Burnout for Mom Docs?

Gratitude is the practice of acknowledging and appreciating the good things in our lives. It’s also about shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have.

Shifting focus away from toxic emotions and toward positive things may mitigate burnout.

It’s challenging to be both positive and negative at the same time, right?

Constant bombardment from all these negative states, like outside stressors and internal angst, can lead me down a rabbit hole of thoughts. They shift my mindset to one that doesn’t support my well-being, that’s for sure.

Sometimes, it can cause me to focus on what I don’t have, or don’t get to experience like other people which can lead to resentment. And, I don’t mean resenting others, but resenting the facts, the situation, the items that are not controllable.

That’s not very productive of me, right?

Thankfully (pun not intended), gratitude pulls me out of this rabbit hole.

It closes the door to negative thoughts.

Because there is only so much you can fit through a doorway, right?

You Control the Doorway of Your Mind, Doc

Imagine moving day and the movers try to fit your big plushy sectional couch through the front door.

This was my experience in the swampy dead heat of summer in Houston, Texas with mosquitoes galore.

The front door was open all day, mosquitoes made it to every crevice of my house and the couch was next.

All I wanted was to be done and close the door. I was hot and exhausted and itchy.

But the couch wouldn’t fit.

Why the heck is our front door so small? The back door is even smaller.

They had to remove part of the door frame, as the mosquitoes had a feast on all of us.

So, now, when I think of opening the door to negative thoughts and toxic emotions, I think of letting in the mosquitoes, and perhaps a large piece of furniture.

The furniture, or my couch, represents a big issue of the day whereas the mosquitoes are all the nagging things that sneak in, and have lasting effect.

So, how can I shift my mindset with gratitude?

Here’s one example, returning home from a stressful day is a now a relief. I’ve learned to shift my focus from what I don’t have, like enough time, energy or a timely witty comeback to that certain someone, to what I do have.

The health of my kids.

The stable roof over our heads.

The amount of food we have in our pantry.

Heck, I am so grateful that we actually need a second refrigerator.

This abundance is not lost on me, and I am grateful.

My mental energy is focused on the positive, not the negative.

I can start to close that front door with gratitude.

And the bonus is also throwing stuff out – you know, the garbage thoughts, the unnecessary feelings, the negative energy.

Try Gratitude for the Win as a Mom and Physician

How does gratitude actually help?

I hear all the time in quips and tips to just “be thankful” and “practice daily gratitude.”

Ok, sounds simple, but what motivates me to take the steps to do it?

Well, my calendar prompts me each day to practice gratitude but seeing that never got me to do anything!

The line between saying, “I’m thankful for this food” and it improving my overall well-being is a little fuzzy. Or at least it was until I learned the vast implications of gratitude practice.

This is what motivated me to incorporate this practice into my life.

I want to share some of my “aha” moments about what being purposefully thankful can do to help alleviate stress, burnout, and improve mental, physical and spiritual well-being.

After all, I am a wellbeing advocate for physician moms and would love to talk about this important tool for your resiliency and wellbeing toolbox.

What Does Gratitude Actually Do for Doctor Moms?

Gratitude practice does not take up a lot of time yet can have an impressive impact on physical, mental and social health.

I came across a 72-page white paper from 2018, written by Summer Allen, Ph.D., in my research on gratitude from UC Berkely’s Greater Good Science Center. Thirteen of those pages are for references!

I am impressed with the amount of research on this topic, and that was 6 years ago.

The paper provides a great framework to talk about the benefits associated with gratitude, the individual, the prosocial, relationship and workplace benefits. If you want a deep dive into any of these topics, I will list the link in the show notes.

I’ll briefly go over these areas and then provide some ideas on how to start, today

Individual Benefits Associated with Gratitude

As I’ve mentioned on other podcast episodes, I’m one of those lifelong learners that gets excited about peeling back layers of everyday topics – like gratitude!

It seems self-explanatory, you be thankful for what you have, as in sitting at the Thanksgiving table, and you will magically be a better person, or happier, or something not quite definable.

Alas, now in my middle life, I can finally define many of those things that being thankful does for you.

First, it has amazing physical and psychological health benefits.

Physical Health Benefits:

• Improved Heart Health: Gratitude can lead to better heart rate variability, a marker of heart health.
• Enhanced Sleep Quality: Grateful people often experience better sleep quality and duration.
• Reduced Inflammation: Gratitude may contribute to lower levels of inflammation in the body.
• Healthier Lifestyle Choices: Gratitude can also encourage healthier behaviors like seeking medical help and engaging in physical activity.

All these factors, and more, play off of each other too. When you improve one area, like getting more exercise, that helps with improving sleep and improving heart health.

Psychological Benefits:

• Increased Happiness and Life Satisfaction: Gratitude can boost overall happiness and life satisfaction which makes sense when focused on the positive.
• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Gratitude can help alleviate stress, anxiety, and depression.
• Enhanced Self-Esteem: Practicing gratitude can improve self-esteem and self-worth.
• Stronger Relationships: Gratitude fosters stronger social connections and relationships.
• Resilience: Gratitude can help individuals build resilience and cope with adversity.

Improving psychological health plays an important role in physical health too. Again, improvement in just one area can have a dramatic impact on another.

Prosocial Behavior Stems from Gratitude too!

• Motivates Kindness: Gratitude inspires individuals to be more generous, helpful, and considerate towards others.
• Enhances Social Connections: Grateful people tend to build stronger relationships and deeper connections with others.
• Boosts Workplace Morale: Gratitude can improve employee satisfaction, motivation, and teamwork.

Relationships Grow Stronger with Gratitude

• Strengthens Bonds: Gratitude helps build and maintain strong relationships with partners, friends, and family.
• Enhances Empathy and Understanding: Grateful individuals are more empathetic and understanding of others’ needs.
• Reduces Conflict: Gratitude can help resolve conflicts and promote forgiveness.

The Workplace Improves

• Improved Employee Morale: Grateful employees are more satisfied and engaged in their work.
• Increased Productivity: Gratitude can lead to increased productivity and job performance.
• Positive Workplace Culture: Gratitude fosters a positive and supportive work environment.

Practical Ideas for a Busy Doctor Mom

This all sounds great, right?

The final question is how to incorporate this practice in a practical, easy to implement way. Busy physicians can incorporate gratitude into their daily lives. Your approach, of course, depends on your personality and your strengths.

Do you love writing?

Gratitude journaling may be a logical start.

I personally love writing to prompts and would do best with a prompt a day kind of plan – the act of regularly sitting with what I’m grateful for.

If you’re not crazy about writing, maybe just 3 words or phrases jotted in your calendar, on your phone notes, or on a sticky note is your style.

Do you have a mindfulness or meditation practice?

If yes to either of these, it is just one more small step to choose gratitude as a topic of focus.

For me, mindfulness is almost synonymous with gratitude.

For example, I frequently stop and admire the beauty of nature, like a sunset, a flower, an intricate bug – and I am so grateful to be able to experience them. I have the senses of smell, sight and touch that allow me to experience these things that bring me joy.

With meditation, maybe it’s as simple as visualizing the things you’re grateful for.

Do you text a lot?

This is probably a lot of people, but how about sending a gratitude text? Maybe try one or two this week as a goal. Send a quick text to someone you appreciate and say thank you for something they did.

Or, you can go old school and send a card or letter, in the mail! Ok, or maybe just email. You feel better, but so does that person on the receiving end!

Do you have a moment before walking into a patient room? (Hint, we all do!)

For as little as 3 seconds, pause, breathe and say something you are grateful for before walking into the exam room, or pulling back the curtain to the pre-op or ER bay. I find it a moment of clarity and a chance to shift my mindset.

By focusing on gratitude and positivity for a few seconds, I am leaving behind the baggage of the day which helps me be less distracted and present for my patient.

Sometimes I just smile to myself, because I know I’ll walk in with a positive vibe of that lingering smile just before I say “Hi!”

These are just some ideas of how to incorporate gratitude into daily life, without it being a chore.

Find Your Gratitude Groove and Keep Going Momma!

The key to gratitude practice is to find what works for you and keep doing it!

This practice takes time. While it can have an immediate and perhaps emotional response, it may take time for lasting results. It does change the brain, as seem in fMRI studies, fascinating how neuroplastic the brain is.

Give it a try with a small effort daily for a few days, or weeks, and see what you think. Mix up the ways to try it until something clicks with you, whether it’s writing, mindfulness, meditation, or just a few seconds pause each day.

Then, take note of the benefits you see whether physical, mental, or in relationships with others.

I would love to hear how gratitude has helped you. Feel free to email me at cindy@inspiredmommds.com

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!

Show notes:

Allen, S. (2018). The Science of Gratitude [White paper]. Greater Good Science Center, University of California, Berkeley. Prepared for the John Templeton Foundation. GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdf