Episode 43: Overthinking? The Doctor Mom’s Secret to Outsmart the Noise

 

Who here is an overthinker?

(Raise your hand!)

You can’t see me, but I’m definitely raising mine.

I’m guilty of analysis paralysis sometimes.

You know, when the mind spins around and around examining every “what if”?

These cycles can build into a frenzied mess of thoughts, which is honestly exhausting and frustrating.

It’s a sneaky little habit that can zap energy and steal joy.

But the good news is you can absolutely short circuit that cycle!

It is possible.

Today, I’m diving deep into the world of overthinking.

We’ll explore what it is, why we do it, and most importantly, how to break free from that endless loop of thoughts.

I’ll uncover some simple yet powerful techniques to quiet that inner chatter and reclaim your peace of mind.

Let’s get started!

 

Who Here is an Overthinker, Doc?

My mind doesn’t stop. That may be a good thing when brainstorming or solving problems I set on the back burner, other times, it encompasses my thoughts with an endless loop of nonproductive chatter.

I recently dove into this common affliction many people share. I wanted to learn. Here’s a roadmap for today’s episode:

• How one can distinguish it from other forms of excessive thinking.
• How bad can overthinking really be?
• Why does this happen?
• What can you do about it?

It can be clear as day when I’m overthinking, and hard to stop. I mistakenly feel that it is somehow productive, or I’ll find a solution to a problem.

It’s funny though, overthinking just gives me more problems to solve!

In my excessive analysis and contemplation, I can develop a good list of hypothetical scenarios, and not all are pretty. They are just more issues I need to resolve … but they don’t even exist!

It’s like a spider web of thoughts. I have central core issue or problem that spreads to rings or layers of other issues to think about. Then I spend my time weaving my thoughts around this new thought, which springs to another idea, and another ring of web.

Now I have an interconnected puzzle of thoughts strung together by sticky web. Great.

And how amazing that they stem from one core issue, that may not even be an issue at all! I must ask, have I fact checked to make sure I’m even spending my brain power on a problem? Or maybe it’s all imagined without a kernel of proof.

All these thoughts often never reach a conclusion.

They slow me down and distract me from what really matters in life.

But how do I know that this is overthinking versus something more pathological?

 

How is Overthinking Different from Other Webs of Thought?

Overthinking is similar and can overlap with other forms of thinking, such as rumination, worry and even obsession.

• Rumination tends to focus on the past. It often involves repeatedly dwelling on negative events, mistakes, or feelings of inadequacy.  


• Rumination is more closely linked with feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, and depression, all negative!


• It’s like a broken record stuck on the same song, replaying negative past experiences over and over.  For example, “Why do I always screw up?” It’s a bit abstract, isn’t it? And it doesn’t include solutions.


• Worry, on the other hand, is difficult to stop and often intrusive. Focus is unproductive and centers on future events – like potential problems.


• As a mom, I worry about my kids and both their immediate and more distant futures. It’s like I am trying to anticipate potential problems so I can preemptively solve them, or help. I just want to protect them. I bet you can relate. 


• Obsession is fear driven, an involuntary experience of thoughts that aren’t rational. Obsessions interfere with life and are very difficult to control without professional help.


• I have a soft spot for those with OCD. I love learning about how therapists and psychologists approach OCD with sound, researched techniques. Then, I can learn how to support family members that struggle with obsessions. They never asked for these thoughts and hate that they have them. 


• Overthinking can encompass the past, present and future. Involves excessive analysis and contemplation, often without reaching a conclusion. It can involve dwelling on hypothetical scenarios, worrying about potential problems, or endlessly analyzing details.


• Overthinking is more closely associated with anxiety and indecision.

I want to pause a moment here. If any of what I just talked about is seriously affecting your life that is an indicator you may get the best help from a trained mental health professional.  Today’s episode is not meant to take the place of therapy or professional guidance.

If your thoughts run more along the lines of common overthinking that is an annoyance, or an obstacle to thriving, then this is for you.

How Bad Can Overthinking Really Be for a Resilient Physician Mom?

Overthinking can take a toll on mental, emotional and even physical health. Physician moms have enough on their plate without the added stress of dizzying mind noise.

The mental impact can seem obvious. Stressing over problems without coming to a nice and tidy resolution can lead to anxiety, more stress and even depression. This is mentally exhausting!

It affects emotional health by creating all these feelings of self-doubt, inadequacy and maybe even low self-esteem.

These feelings are strong enough to change one’s behavior! For example, they lead to procrastination, avoiding people or situations, and poor decision making.

It’s not a far stretch to see how all of this can start to affect physical health too. Overthinking may keep you awake at night, whether not being able to fall asleep, or being lucky enough to join the small group of humans that sees the clock strike 2:00 AM.

Next thing you know, you’re exhausted making poor food choices, skipping a workout physical activity and snipping back at your partner.

Ugh, what a vicious cycle overthinking can be!

Find Your Solution by First Finding Your Why

I find the why behind overthinking fascinating because it delves into the core of our self, our human psychology. Consider the following reasons why the brain can gravitate toward overthinking.

• Fear of the Unknown: The mind craves predictability and control so when faced with ambiguity it tries to anticipate possible outcomes. These are those hypothetical situations that may or may not ever happen, yet they can spark anxiety.


• This leads to the “what if” line of questioning.


• I recently stood up in front of a group of maybe 30 women to talk about Inspired Mom MDs. Thankfully, with practice this is getting easier, with just a flutter of my heart in the moments before I speak. But the past me would linger on these what if thoughts.


• What if I talked too fast, people saw sweat stains on my shirt, or my message wasn’t memorable? I didn’t know, it may happen!


• Need for Control in a Hectic World: By meticulously analyzing every detail of a conversation or encounter I somehow feel more in command.


• This world is loud and chaotic with electronics distracting us at every turn. But when I overthink something, it feels like I am in control, like I own the narrative.


• Perfectionism: Overthinking and perfectionism are good buddies.


• Agonizing over minor imperfections or rewording an email 5 times is a loss of precious energy and time – but I still do that sometimes.


• I can have this need for delivering the perfect statement or thought, write the perfect comeback, and perform at my utmost best that is truly unrealistic at times.


• My overthinking hops on the perfectionism bandwagon and drives me there.  It tells me, “Oh by overthinking this issue, you will come up with the best answer and if you don’t overthink it, well then you will have to settle with second best.”


• Sounds fun, right?


• Avoidance of a difficult situation: Sometimes overthinking has the benefit of helping you avoid making a decision or facing a situation after all.


• Spending time to overthink feels productive3 (even though it isn’t) and the bonus is not having to face a conflict head on. And let’s face it, direct confrontation takes energy.

Your why may be different for each situation, right? Once you piece it apart you can choose a strategy for overcoming overthinking.

What Can a Mom Doc Do to Escape Overthinking?

I’ve spent a good amount of time defining overthinking and go over some ways it can manifest in someone’s life. Maybe you see yourself in one of the examples, or it sparked a related idea.

Now, identify your patterns and plan your escape route!

• Label and Redirect. Label your overthinking. You can even give it a name, like maybe Oscar. I named it after the Muppet Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. He’s cute, but has issues.  


• So, it would look like this – overthinking ramps up and you stop and say in your mind, or outload if you’re like me, “Oh! There you are again Oscar!” and let him sit, be present, but not engage with him.


• Then redirect your thoughts. Mindfulness is great for this. Focus on the present moment, what is around you, even simple things like your breathing pattern.


• Distract Your Mind: Engaging in a mental activity incompatible with ruminating on thoughts. For example, solve a word puzzle, play music, write or direct yourself outwards to others and check in with someone.


• Try My “Just Choose” Technique: I find this helpful to get past some episodes of cyclical thinking and I have some criteria for when this qualifies.


• Here’s when I just choose. First, the decision must be relatively low stakes. This isn’t about jumping at a life-changing decision. It’s to just choose what to wear, where to order takeout, or what to do with that unexpected free hour of time!


• Also, if I’ve already analyzed pros and cons and other variables, I probably am ready to make the leap to a decision on bigger questions. I can think of when we had to choose the right nanny for my kids when they were little, or which house to buy when we moved, or even whether to move in the first place!


• Next, just choosing helps move away from procrastination and regains control over my time. You get time to start an overdue project, or finish one you started!


• I’m reminded of laundry. I have a routine when doing laundry of grabbing the clothes out of the dryer while hot, folding an putting them away. It’s great, less wrinkles and a sense of satisfaction.


• But there are days I’m off schedule and I take out the clothes and let them sit in a basket, which gets moved around all week because in my mind it’s no longer laundry day. Well, folding those clothes and putting away the basket is a prime example of free time.


• That free time is what I am not spending on the computer researching and overthinking a question. With a decision made, I move on, and in this case fold clothes.


• Even if the decision isn’t perfect, just choose.


• It’s better to learn and keep moving than be stuck in analysis paralysis!


• Follow Your Instinct: Don’t forget to use that valuable intuition born over years of experience to guide decisions. It helps when the right answer if hard to articulate with logic alone.


• Seek Professional Help: This is always an option to be used without shame. Why struggle when there are people in the world who are passionate about helping you solve that exact problem!

 

Before You Go, Doc!

Overthinking can feel like a constant battle, but it’s a battle you don’t have to fight alone.

By recognizing your patterns, understanding the “why” behind your overthinking, and implementing strategies like mindfulness and the “just choose” technique, you can begin to break free from the cycle of excessive thought.

Remember to be patient with yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support if needed. You deserve peace of mind, and you deserve to live a life less burdened by the weight of endless thoughts.

Overthinking is rampant, if you experience it, you’re not alone!

But you’re also not alone in having the ability to identify patterns and streamline thinking so you can be more at ease.

And being more at ease moves you toward your dreams, goals, and peace so you can thrive.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!