Episode 49: Drifting or Driven? A Physician Mom’s First Step Toward What Matters

Imagine spending hours sculpting your arms and legs at the gym but completely ignoring your core.

You might look strong, but without a solid foundation, you’re off-balance and prone to injury.

Now, think about life. When we focus only on achievements and ignore our core values, we end up in the same spot. One can look successful on the outside while feeling unsteady on the inside.

Today’s episode of the Chart Your True North series will help you take the first step to clarifying what truly matters. This is like setting your destination for where you want your life to go.

You wouldn’t set off on a road trip without knowing where you’re headed—so why travel through life without your own roadmap?

Join me as we dive into simple, powerful exercises to help you tune into your inner compass and build a foundation to support a value-driven life.

Are You Feeling Off-Balanced and Off-Course, Doc?

Last week I talked about the illusion of having it all, and how that is really a mirage.

You don’t need to have it all, you just need what really matters.

To get there, I introduced a roadmap of sorts to kickoff this “Chart Your True North” series for achieving a value-driven life focused on what matters most.  

Today I’m excited to talk about step one on this journey where you set your destination.

And how do you know what that is?

Good question!

Think about that example in the intro, where you only sculpted legs and arms while ignoring your core. What would happen? (I was so interested in what would really happen.)

If this was me, I imagine my posture would not be great, and this would probably lead to back pain. Then everyday movements, like bending or standing all day, would feel difficult.

I’d be much more prone to injury, which is the exact opposite of my goals.

Despite all my effort perfecting arms and legs, I would lack the foundation for true strength.

This is an imaginary exercise but applies to real life when I talk about this journey toward what matters most.

Focusing on only some areas, like adding more initials after my name, fitting into a certain size, or making sure my kids get into the best schools is steering me away from my true values.

What I really want is to feed my thirst for knowledge, to feel strong and energetic, and for my kids to be happy and confident.

What I really want is a value-driven life, not one that detours on false promises, or illusions.

So, the first step is to tap into my inner compass and use my true core values to pick where I want to go.

I align or rather realign my destination to correlate with my core values.

Ok, how the heck do I do this, and how can you?

Today’s focus is on this crucial first step. I will help you clarify your mission, purpose, and dreams. These define your “why.”

The Time is Now to Clarify what You Want as a Physician Mom

It’s time to take the time to pinpoint what truly resonates with you. You don’t need to chase every expectation.

This does require a little introspection, but you don’t have to wait for a Zen moment to do this.

You can start right now!

I know a lot of life can be waiting for the right time that never seems to come. Does anything spring to mind?

Maybe there’s a list of things, like making that doctor appointment, for yourself, or saying no (because you’re a people pleaser) or calling your mom.

As a side note, if you feel pulled to call a loved one, do it today. Don’t wait for tomorrow.

Set Your Destination in Life by Clarifying Your Values

Today I have some prompts to get you thinking about your core values. They will help you tune in to your inner compass, what really drives you. They will help you clarify your destination, or where you want your life to lead.

To keep this simple, I broke these down into 3 categories of guiding questions. As I read them, note the first thoughts that come to mind. That’s always an interesting tell about what lives in your subconscious.

And as you think a little longer, maybe you’ll want to write them down, or use voice to text on your phone to keep track. You may just have 1- or 2-word answers, that’s good too.

This doesn’t have to be a drawn-out experience, but it does have to be purposeful.

What kind of person do you want to be? 

Your values are the foundation of who you are. When you ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be?” you’re tapping into your sense of purpose and your mission.

It’s not just about all the things you do in life, but about what you become.  And that person you become gets better and better at guiding your actions when life gets messy.

It’s a bit like defining your legacy. Episode 29 of Inspired Mom MDs touched on legacy and a mother’s love for her kids. It was about those precious small moments that add up to something truly impactful.

What do you take pride in, and think, “Hey, this is awesome that I did that!” Those are the moments that reflect your core values too.

By considering the kind of person you want to be, you’re starting to clarify your “why” behind your choices. Every action can then be aligned with what truly matters to you. You are tuning into your inner compass.

What are your passions and dreams?

Beyond day-to-day responsibilities and expectations, what excites and fulfills you? These things aren’t just fleeting moments but help shape your path and keep you moving forward.  

Think about what activities make you lose track of time. When do you feel completely immersed in something, and in a good way. I’m talking about the things that spark a fire inside or are something you could talk about for hours.

These passions and dreams are essential. Making space for them will not only fuel your actions but feed your soul. They remind you of you – who you are at the core.

Redefine success – it’s always not having it all! 

Many high achievers, especially physician moms, often find themselves chasing a definition of success that’s been handed to them. That could be societal expectations, status, accomplishments, or the illusion of “having it all.”

But here’s the truth: real fulfillment doesn’t come from the outside world telling you what to do, though it can seem that way, right? It comes from defining success on your terms.

Earlier in this episode, I shared a little bit about what really matters to me. I want to feed my thirst for knowledge, to feel strong and energetic, and for my kids to be happy and confident. For me, those things define success, and they align with my core values.

Now, I want to ask you to think about what success truly means to you. Is it tied to outside expectations, or does it come from within?

Are you striving for something because it resonates with your heart, or are you checking the boxes on someone else’s checklist?

Here’s the kicker, does your definition of success align with the person you want to become? And I mean, whether it connects with your core values, your passions and dreams.

If not, that’s ok! That is the purpose of these insightful questions. They help illuminate where to realign.

Real success is about creating a life that feels authentic. in harmony with who you truly are it’s certainly not about “having it all,” because that is an illusion.

Your Journey Starts Here

In a nutshell, I talked about 3 categories of questions to help reflect on your core values, or your inner compass. This clarity will help laser focus on true north to a value driven life and a roadmap to what matters most.  

First, I asked about the person you want to be, and what you’re proud of.

Then I asked about your passions and dreams.

Finally, I asked what is your own definition of success.

I encourage you to answer the guiding questions to help you tune in to your inner compass. Do your answers align with each other?

Now, you’re ready for the next step in the journey north to what matters most! Next week I will help you fuel up for the journey by prioritizing self-care.

In the following weeks, I’ll discuss how to:

Plan your route by setting boundaries.

Check your compass with time for regular reflection.

Embrace flexibility with roadblocks and obstacles.

Review your dashboard and celebrate success.

I hope to see you next week. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!