Episode 54: When the Plan Falls Apart: The Power of Flexibility for Physician Moms

The best-laid plans… often crash into real life.

You map out your career, family time, and a perfectly color-coded planner, and then? Chaos.

A shift runs late. Your kiddo spikes a fever. And the sitter cancels.

Suddenly, everything you were holding together feels like it’s unraveling.

Here’s the truth: a roadblock doesn’t mean something impassable. It means life is offering you a redirect.

But in the moment, it can feel like you only have two options, to power through and burnout or give up entirely.

What if there’s a third option? What if the answer isn’t pushing harder, but learning how to flex?

In today’s episode, I share a simple 4-step framework to help you respond to life’s curveballs with confidence, clarity, and a little grace.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure what to do next, you’re in the right place. Time to dive in!

The Inevitable Roadblocks High Achieving Women Face

Welcome back to the Chart Your True North series where I guide you on the journey toward what matters most. The starting line is to pick a destination based on your core values, then fuel up with self-care and set up road signs, or boundaries to streamline your trip.

And last week I talked about the power of reflection to regularly check in whether you’re still following your north star.

Today I’ll talk about what to do when the inevitable roadblocks pop up.

Either choice is helped by using flexibility to adapt to change. How can I make it better?

Roadblocks are a scary part of the journey. 

They’re not always obvious until they spring out in front of us on the road. Some pretty big events happen at the least convenient times, right?

This reminds me of my motto to expect the unexpected. I don’t mean welcome them, just be mentally prepared. It’s like building up a resilience tool before you need to use it.

And obstacles can hurt, both physically and mentally. So, it’s natural to want to protect ourselves and resist pain.

The good news? Roadblocks may be a gift in disguise.

They aren’t always a complete blockade on your pathway, just a redirection to do something better and more fulfilling.

A physician struggling with burnout may see it as a roadblock because they feel trapped and exhausted.

But that challenge could lead them to explore something different, like medical leadership, advocacy, or a non-clinical role where they can still make a meaningful impact while regaining balance. This was my exact response to burnout. I veered into coaching to give back to colleagues and help them unload the burden of exhaustion.

You can navigate around them – with flexibility!

Flexibility is quite literally the ability to bend and not break, like the bamboo plant. I remember hiking in a small bamboo forest and listening to the sound of the smooth branches knocking against each other as they swayed in the wind.  I found them so beautiful and peaceful. That was 20 years ago!

Bamboo is remarkably resilient, and I often use this plant to describe the resilience of women physicians. They weather the most incredible storms and stay rooted and growing.

There is a way to use flexibility to your advantage, for increased health and vitality. You can adapt in a way that takes you away from harm, whether you meet resistance or a toxic environment.

Today, I’ll use a very realistic, but hypothetical character named Sarah to describe ways to remain flexible while facing obstacles on her journey toward living a balanced and thriving life.

There are many tools to use for how to handle challenges in the pursuit of physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing. My character, Sarah, uses a combination of them, what works for her.

They all involve the core principles of being able to shift mindset and experiment with different plans.

Scenario: A Physician Mom That Feels Stuck

Dr. Sarah, a full-time physician and devoted mom of two young kids.  It’s getting to be too much.

She’s spent years balancing patient care with family life, but lately, something feels off. The long shifts, endless charting, and unpredictable work demands are draining her energy. At home, she misses too many bedtime stories and weekend soccer games and school plays.

Sarah wants to be present for her family without sacrificing her career, but she feels stuck. Reducing her workload seems impossible, and every option feels like a trade-off she’s not ready to make.

So, what does she do?

Strategy 1: The “Pause and Pivot” Strategy – Reassess Instead of Pushing Through

Physicians are wired to push forward, to keep going even when exhaustion creeps in. But what if instead of forcing a plan that no longer fits, they pause and reassess?

It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Pause, look around for the round peg, and proceed. There are other options!

Now Sarah does take a moment to reflect and realizes she’s been operating on autopilot. She assumed her only option was to endure her hectic schedule until some day, not even sure when that will happen.

She also realizes that the current workload can’t wait for “someday.” She asks:

• Do I need to push through? – No, the current workload is unsustainable.
• Do I need to pivot? – Yes, she can explore reducing her hours or shifting roles.
• Do I need to pause completely? – Not entirely, but she might need a short break to reset.

Sarah decides to talk to her supervisor about a more flexible schedule instead of feeling forced into an all-or-nothing option. She chose one option, but there are others, which leads me to a second strategy.

Strategy 2: The “Three Doors” Approach – Finding Alternative Solutions

When a roadblock appears, like unexpected childcare issues or new job demands, it’s easy to see it as a dead end. Instead, Sarah learns to identify three possible doors (or paths):

• Door 1: Adjust the original plan. For example, reduce clinical hours slightly and maybe add telemedicine hours for flexibility.
• Door 2: She may take a creative alternative with job-sharing with another physician to split patient load and/or hours.
• Door 3: She may rethink her priorities. For example, she can transition into an administrative position to make a change on that level.

Regardless of which path she takes, it still may not work out, right? On to the next strategy.

This ensures she remains adaptable instead of feeling stuck.

Strategy 3: The “What Else?” Method – Again, Shifting from Obstacles to Solutions

Even the best plans don’t always work. Instead of frustration, Sarah learns to ask some open-ended questions. This is my favorite type of question because the possibilities are endless! Whereas a yes/no question is a dead end.

Here are some examples of what she asks:

• What else is possible?
• What else could work?
• What else can I try right now?

By staying open-minded, Sarah considers restructuring home responsibilities. She advocates for more workplace flexibility. She is staying proactive instead of reactive.

She’s testing the waters of change with reasonable small steps. This leads to the 4^th strategy I’m talking about today, though there are more.

Strategy 4: The “Low-Stakes Experiment” Mindset – Testing Changes Before Committing

Making big career decisions can feel overwhelming because they seem permanent, and did I mention big? It feels like risk, and it seems easier to wake up each day and just keep pushing forward. It would be easier to change now and save yourself the grief later.

So, instead of committing to a drastic change, Sarah reframes adjustments as experiments. After all most physicians are scientists at heart. She asks herself:

• What if I try reducing my hours for 1-2 months and reassess?
• What if I switch my morning routine for a week and see what happens?
• What if I outsource one household task, like cooking, cleaning, or shopping for a few weeks?

Choosing small experiments reduced the pressure of making “forever” decisions and adapting gradually.

She would no longer be stuck; she would be moving forward on a different path.

Which Strategies Speak to You, Mom Doc?

Sarah’s journey is one I can relate to.

The key to navigating roadblocks isn’t about choosing between work and family, it’s about reassessing what’s possible, and giving ourselves permission to evolve.

The secret to navigating obstacles isn’t resistance, its flexibility.

So, the next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: Do I need to pause, pivot, or push through? What doors are available to me? Ask “What else?” And what low-stakes experiment can I try?

You might just find your own path forward.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!