Episode 63: Dear Doctor Mom: You Don’t Need Approval to Know What’s Right

Have you ever felt something deep down… but waited for permission to believe it?

I know I have. The truth would rise up, quiet and certain, but I still hesitated.

I’ve stuck with the plan, stayed the course, waited for someone, anyone to say,

“Go ahead. You’re right about this.”

But that permission never came.

So, I silenced my inner voice and, in the pause, lost something precious.

The hardest truths are often the ones we carry quietly, hoping someone else will say them out loud first.

I’ve come to understand that clarity doesn’t always announce itself. 

Sometimes it’s a whisper from within. It’s a knowing only I can hear.

Learning how to trust yourself again, especially when the world is loud, is the real work.

Because how much longer will you wait for the world to confirm what you already know?

That’s the journey I want to take you on today.

Why We Stop Trusting Ourselves: The Hidden Cost of Outsourcing Truth

I’ve silenced my inner voice more times than I can count.

I was so used to deferring to experts and data, or to what others may think that I put my voice at the bottom of the list.

I forgot my own voice has wisdom too.

Maybe you’ve felt something similar, you know that quiet thought rising up that gets pushed aside by fear or doubt.

Today I’m excited to share what I’ve learned about rebuilding trust in your inner light. Because here’s the truth – many women have been taught to outsource what’s true.

All my life I’ve followed protocols and systems designed to maintain order and keep peace.

As a mom there’s a socially accepted playbook plan for raising kids. Sure, this varies between cultures, but there is a defined “right way” to do it. I learned from my parents, and my husband from his parents. And the only adjustment seemed to be how to blend our two pathways. Ok, check.

As a physician, there are even more rigid protocols of what is expected of us – starting with the med school application on to being an attending.

In many ways these systems do make life flow easier. They are a part of what allows billions of humans to coexist on this planet!

But I’m talking on the individual level – how the habit of seeking outside approval or using someone else’s roadmap stifles your inner clarity.

Because when you rely on outside validation to make decisions, you start to doubt your own inner truth.

And that doubt? It sneaks in quietly. It makes brilliant, capable, educated women second-guess what they already know.

Living life for outside validation dims your inner light, gradually and quietly, until you forget it’s even there.

The Truth Is Already in You: How to Recognize Your Inner Clarity

The good news? Your inner light is still there; you didn’t lose it.

So many women talk about finding clarity, like it’s somewhere else, just beyond reach. It feels like they need to work harder, spend more energy, or earn the right answer. I know sometimes I feel like I’m one mouse click away from an answer, and when that isn’t satisfying, then maybe I just need to tweak my search terms. It becomes this cycle of analyzing where I should be looking for clarity when it is right in me all along!

Those quiet thoughts that keep circling back in your mind, the gut feeling that nudges you, or the tension you hold when something feels off wrong…

That is your inner light.

So, the better question isn’t, “How do I find the answer?”

It’s, “How do I recognize and trust what’s already there?”

This is how to trust yourself again, not by searching harder, but by listening more deeply.

And here’s the secret you already know, inner clarity doesn’t shout. It whispers.

The answer is right there. Why wait for the outside world to catch up when you could start listening to what you already know?

3 Steps to Find Mental Clarity when You’re Doubting Yourself

Step One: Get quiet enough to hear.

Not only is the world loud and chaotic, but our minds are too with overthinking, mental to-do lists, and constant self-criticism.

So the first step is to create space. Ask yourself: How can I make space today to actually hear my own inner voice?

What would that look like for you?

Personally, I need at least four or five minutes. Why? Because the first two or three are just noise. My brain is still racing. But then, there’s this moment when my mind realizes, “Oh, wow… she’s really going to sit here until it gets quiet!”

That’s when the stillness comes in. That’s when I can finally drop in and hear what’s true.

Now, this didn’t come overnight. It took a lot of practice with meditation to learn how to get quiet quickly. And even now, I’m not always successful because I’m human.

But you don’t have to meditate if that’s not your thing. Think about what you already know works to slow down your thoughts.

For some people, that quiet comes while walking, running, folding laundry, or washing dishes.
That counts. That’s clarity in motion. It’s also a win-win if it helps relieve you of a chore.

The point is: clarity lives in stillness.
You won’t find it buried in your inbox or at the bottom of a completed checklist.

Step Two: Keep track of the times you were right.

This is like building a highlight reel of your intuition.
Think back to those moments when you just knew something, before anyone else confirmed it?

By tracking the times your inner voice was right, you start to build trust with yourself. You build this stockade of proof that strengthens your confidence.

This is one of the most practical ways to learn how to trust yourself again, by noticing when you already got it right.

Here’s something else to consider: When you reflect on those moments, ask yourself, what did it feel like in your body when you were right?  Was it a flutter in your chest? A calm certainty?

And just as powerful, what about the times something felt off or you didn’t listen to that knowing?
Maybe you took a path that didn’t feel aligned and later regretted it. Treat those moments as learning lessons.

Learning what a “no” feels like in your body is just as important as recognizing a “yes.”

Step Three: Act without waiting for the world to validate you.

This is the stretch zone. It means choosing one small action that’s in alignment with what you know is right – even if no one else sees it yet.

Even if people raise an eyebrow.

You understand yourself better than anyone else.

Self-trust is a muscle, and every step you take builds strength.

And what if no one ever validates your decision? It doesn’t matter.

When your choice aligns with your values and feels right in both mind and body, you’re in the right place.

When you follow your values and put your focus on what really matters, then don’t look back. Don’t second guess yourself because someone else doesn’t understand.

Not everyone will get it. But you will.

Closing Reflection: Your Clarity Isn’t Missing – It’s Waiting

Before I leave you today, I want to offer one more question:

What if your clarity isn’t missing… it’s just muffled?

What if it’s been with you all along just waiting for a moment of stillness to speak?

Today, I explored how the inner light often whispers while the world shouts.

I talked about the habit of outsourcing truth, the cost of ignoring your inner voice, and the three practical ways to reconnect with your own wisdom:

• Getting quiet enough to hear it
• Keeping track when you were right
• And acting without waiting for external validation

Because when you honor your own knowing, even in small steps, you stop second-guessing and start showing up with clarity and confidence.

And if clarity is something you want to keep exploring, check out Episode 47, I think you’ll find something there that speaks to you.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive