Feeling Stuck? When Hard Work isn’t Working for Physician Moms

Episode 65: Feeling Stuck? When Hard Work isn’t Working for Physician Moms

Productivity is a liar.
It pats you on the back for being busy while silently draining your peace.

Physician moms have mastered the art of doing.
You schedule, solve, serve, repeat.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Sometimes, doing more is how we avoid facing what’s not working.

In this episode, I confess what finally broke my cycle of late-night thinking, second-guessing, and spinning my wheels.

I did the thing I rarely let myself do.
I asked for help.

And here’s what I’ve come to believe: asking for help as a physician mom isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom. It’s strategy.

So, if you’ve been sprinting toward progress but feeling more stuck than ever, stay with me. This episode might just be the mirror you need.

Because the goal isn’t to do more.
It’s to move forward.

The Illusion of Progress: Why Hard Work Alone Isn’t Enough for Physician Moms

Don’t you love those breakthrough days when all the stars must be aligned, or something, and something in your brain clicks?

That was me today after a call with a coach to look over my business and messaging. I freely admit that we could all benefit from an outside perspective a time or two, or three!

I’ve been wracking my mind about my message and how it helps the physician mom out there listening. I felt like there was a missing piece to my puzzle, and an important one too, like a corner piece.

I was trying to find an answer within an echo chamber of my own thoughts.

And then wondering why I wasn’t getting anywhere?

Surely hard work at thinking, watching webinars and reading newsletters would help? Nope.

I needed a fresh pair of eyes and a different perspective to get out of my rut.

So, I asked, and paid, for help.

Here we go with a metaphor but imagine getting your car stuck in mud on the side of the road. You already recognize spinning your wheels doesn’t work, so then what? You need help. If you’re lucky, just the right vehicle will come along with a hook and winch and will pull you out, for free.

But more likely, you’ll be on your phone looking up the nearest tow truck to get you unstuck – which comes at a price, whether a lump sum that day, or through your insurance premiums.

My point is that you can move, think and do all day, every day and still not get anywhere. I was staying up late, reading another book or newsletter, hoping for clarity. You might be replaying the same boundary-setting script with that extra nice colleague but still saying yes.

All of this activity doesn’t equal progress. Thinking harder doesn’t equal a breakthrough. I have struggled with that and finally yielded and had my “aha” moment.

How can you find your “aha” moment?

Signs You’re Stuck and Spinning Your Wheels (And What to Do Next)

Well, first, you need to know when you’re stuck and recognize your wheels are spinning!

Repeating the same behavior or action to get yourself out of a situation at some point becomes futile, and you tend to know it when it does…maybe not a conscious awareness, but your body may tell you.

You may feel that tightness in your throat, heart racing or nauseated unease when you say “yes” for the umpteenth time to a coworker, as sweet as they are, but super greedy with YOUR time. Let’s say you’ve been trying to distance yourself from her requests and protect your time more and more, but somehow each time she asks a favor you still say yes?

How is that working out for you? You’re spinning your wheels right? If your wish to set boundaries with this woman came true, you wouldn’t be having this wrestling match of a conversation right now.

Unless someone happens to come along in your life, recognizes your situation and happens to have a great solution that works for you, you are still spinning your wheels.

You know the saying, “It’s hard to see the forest for the trees?” While you’re focusing on making that one tree grow taller or trimming the other one back because it’s grown out of control, you miss the big picture – the 8,000 foot view of your forest.

How do you connect with that big picture? There are signs and they indicate you are stuck focusing on one or two trees too much without results.

There may be physical signs like feeling tightness in your chest, neck or forehead. You may literally get nauseated when you think about how you just said yes, again to that colleague.

There are likely to be emotional cures too. What about that resentment that wells up as you’re at work covering for someone again. Or the guilt you feel over missing your 16-year-old heading off to her first day of work.

Maybe it’s pure dread over facing another day trying to get your side gig off the ground because you NEED this to cut back on work hours at your primary job.

You’re working hard, digging yourself deeper and not moving forward like you wanted – you can recognize you’re stuck.

Now what?

Why Doctor Moms Must Invest in Themselves: The Power of Time and Paid Support

Physician moms are conditioned to figure it all out on their own, they are their own DIY project! But you were never meant to be everything to everyone, including yourself.

You were meant to be supported, too – to have your own team, your own lifeline, your own cheerleaders!

There are other routes to finding the 8,000-foot view of your forest – all it takes is another human being that isn’t as deeply vested in your problem as you to give a 3^rd party view. Often a stranger is best because they are completely unbiased!

A mentor or a new podcast from someone who speaks like they can hear your thoughts. There are workshops that give you practical takeaways with minimal, if any, financial investment.

Maybe it really is just needing emotional help with a venting session with a friend. This works for me so well! I personally love to talk about things out loud and explain it to another person. All they have to do is listen and watch as I answer my own questions.

I will also argue that timeless adage that “time is money.” You can always earn more money, but you can’t earn more time. Sometimes it makes more sense to pay for help with than sink more time into doing it all yourself.

I’ve been referring to time as liquid gold. It is precious and is only present in a finite amount.

You may hire practical help, like with a virtual assistant, a coach or a therapist.

Whether you pay in time or money, or both, invest in yourself.

Why Asking for Help as a Physician Mom Is the Smartest Move You’ll Make

Let’s get honest for a second, when you’re stuck, it’s not just time that slips away.

It’s your energy and your peace. Your capacity to show up as the version of you that you actually like being.

Because time is liquid gold. Let’s stop pouring it into the mud.

And here’s the truth no one teaches us in training:

Sometimes the most efficient path forward starts with raising your hand.

What if getting unstuck didn’t mean pushing harder but partnering smarter?
What if help isn’t a rescue, it’s simply a resource?  It can be a form of leverage, not a sign of weakness.

Because the right help multiplies your clarity and your capacity.

You’re not failing by needing it. You’re just choosing a faster, sane route forward.

As I close today, reflect on this:

Where are you spinning your wheels?

What would asking for help as a physician mom look like for you?

Pause with that.

When you’re ready, come find more support, bonus reflection prompts, and the full transcript of this episode at inspiredmommds.com/65. I’ll put those bonus prompts in the show notes too.

You don’t have to earn the right to make things easier.
You just have to stop driving in circles.

You’re worth that fresh start.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!