Doctor Moms: Stop Losing Time on Busy Work – Start Winning at What Really Matters

Episode 80: Doctor Moms: Stop Losing Time on Busy Work – Start Winning at What Really Matters

I suddenly knew what drove me, right there on the treadmill.

I busy myself with small wins, thinking they’ll move me forward, and quietly avoid the big wins, that honestly scared me a little.

What woke me up is realizing what I lose when I don’t act. The weeks slip by, opportunities are wasted, and I feel potential sliding through my fingers.

Walking in place that day, and getting nowhere physically, I did move closer to clarity – about  how to reach my dreams.

For moms in medicine feeling stuck, this clicks.

Are you spinning your wheels on busy work while the high-impact tasks that could move you forward sit unchecked in your planner?

This episode explores why we avoid the tasks that matter most – and how reframing what we risk by not acting sparks real momentum.

The Problem – Stuck in Motion: Why Busy Doesn’t Always Mean Progress

I’m a “paper person.” I write on sticky notes, leave written notes for my kids, and scribble down quotes – a lot.

I also love a fancy planner with its leather cover with shiny gold edges, and weekly boxes for to-dos, a habit grid and priority list. It’s a beautiful thing. And it’s revealing.

As I flip through the pages, I see an unsettling pattern among the exclamation points and checkboxes. I’ve noticed the ones with the greatest return on investment are often left blank, while the smaller peripheral ones get dutifully checked off.

Why? Because the small tasks feel good in the moment. They’re familiar. But every time I choose them, I’m also choosing not to do the things that move me forward.

Economists call this opportunity cost — the hidden price of not acting. Every “yes” to something is also a “no” to something else.

So, when I say yes to the small things, I say no to progress toward the big things.

What do you think, does this sound familiar to you? For moms in medicine feeling stuck, this is often a common pattern: busy but not advancing on what really matters.

If you listened to my earlier episode number 65, Feeling Stuck? When Hard Work isn’t Working for Physician Moms, about asking for help to get unstuck, consider this the next layer: why we avoid the tasks that matter most, and how reframing what we risk by not acting can spark momentum and real progress.

Why This Happens – The Psychology of Staying Put: Loss Aversion and Opportunity Cost

Psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky discovered something called loss aversion: we hate losing about twice as much as we enjoy gaining the same thing. Our brains evolved to conserve energy and stick with the familiar, even when it’s less rewarding.

Think about money. If you unexpectedly gain $100, that’s exciting. But if you unexpectedly lose a $100 bill walking down the street, that stings far more.

The same dynamic plays out with time and energy.

Let’s say you finally get an afternoon off. What would you do? You could spend that hour drafting plans for a dream project or prepping slides for a speaking opportunity, but instead you catch up on email and chart notes “just to get ahead.”

That afternoon feels productive, but the cost is hidden. You’ve traded a high-impact action that could move you closer to your long-term goal for a low-impact task that only clears your inbox temporarily.

Each “yes” to something low-return is also a “no” to something that could actually change your future.

So if you’ve been avoiding your highest-impact tasks, first, you’re not alone. And also, it’s not a moral failing; it’s your wiring.

The good news is that moms in medicine feeling stuck can work with that wiring instead of against it.

Three Research-Backed Ways to Start Acting on High-Impact Goals

1. Reframe Your Motivation 

Reframe your motivation by keeping loss aversion in mind.

Instead of asking, “What could I gain if I did this?” ask, “What am I losing by not doing it?”

For me, leaving my planner boxes unchecked is a loss. It’s a lost day of momentum, a lost lesson from trying, a lost chance to get closer to clarity. I now choose to go reframe my priorities, to choose the high-return task first – and check that box.

Remember the $100 example? It’s like working harder to secure that $100 bill in my pocket, so as not to lose it, than to working at adding $100 to my wallet.

2. Set SMART Goals 

One way to fight inertia is to get specific.

SMART goals are a great option. This popular acronym means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. It helps you avoid vague ideas of what you want to accomplish by nailing down a concrete plan.

For example, I might say, instead of “Do more speaking,” I can set “Reach out to three potential speaking opportunities by Friday.” Or maybe 1-2, let’s keep it realistic, right?

I teach this goal setting to clients because research shows clear, specific goals dramatically increase follow-through.

3. Take One Small Step Forward 

Give yourself “dream time” by brainstorming.

We often lose the child-like ability to imagine “anything is possible.” But a few minutes of playful brainstorming can reopen it.

Set a timer for five minutes. Grab a pen or open a blank document. Pose one weighty question — “How can I find more speaking gigs?” or “How will I cover this unexpected expense?” — and then write anything and everything that comes to mind until the timer goes off. Don’t edit or judge.

When time’s up, circle your top four or five ideas. Narrowing down choices makes action more likely; too many options lead to paralysis. Pick one idea that excites you and feels doable.

Choose empowering thoughts.

You know the phrase, “You are what you eat?” It’s true – people have toxins and plastic in their bodies. I’ve also heard some say, “You are what you think.” This isn’t literally true, but close.

Neuroscience does show that repeated thoughts strengthen neural pathways. And over time they influence emotions and behaviors. The brain may also seek confirmation from the world that those thoughts are valid.

There is a way to interrupt this repetition.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy teaches ways to shift thinking patterns. One way is by thought labeling and reframing.

Here’s how it works:

Notice the thought – When a discouraging or self-critical idea pops up, pause long enough to mentally label it. For me that might be, “I’m not ready yet. I’m not prepared for taking that next big step.”

I can mentally label this thought for what it is and create a little space in time.

Name its effect – I can ask myself, “What does believing this thought do to my motivation right now?” It pushes me to do the low-yield tasks!

Reframe or replace – Pivot. Offer an alternative that’s realistic but more empowering. For example, “I’m not ready yet” to “If I have a deadline, I’ll make sure I’m ready

This tiny pause-and-reframe pattern will strengthen new neural pathways and weaken the old ones.

I challenge you to try it! And you don’t have to do it perfectly; even catching a few thoughts a day begins to shift your mindset.

We may not control which feelings arise, but we do have agency over how we respond.

Choose just one action.

Once you’ve brainstormed and shifted your thinking, it’s time to pick one action, something concrete — a step you can actually see and measure — not just a vague intention.

For example, if my long-term goal is to land a speaking gig, a visible action might be:

• Send an email to one potential event organizer.
• Drafting an outline for a talk I have in mind.
• Schedule a 20-minute practice session.

The key is that you can point to it and say, “I did this.”

Action creates momentum and reinforces your sense of progress. It’s not about doing everything at once; it’s about moving forward in a way you can notice.

Your Turn: One Small Step Toward the Life You Want

How about you?

What’s something you’ve been rewriting in your planner month after month? A dream, a project, a conversation you’ve been putting off.

Take a fresh look at the opportunity cost of staying put. Ask yourself, “What am I losing by not acting?”

Now, pick one small, concrete action you can take today. Make it SMART — Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. If it helps, tell a friend, family member, or coach so you have someone to check in with.

If you’re like me, busy checking off all the small boxes and not advancing much on the big items, consider the idea of loss aversion. Don’t just focus on what you can gain, focus on what you’re losing by staying in the same spot.

Give yourself space to dream, choose empowering thoughts, and then take that visible action. Each small step moves you closer to clarity, momentum, and the life you envision.

Don’t forget to join me next week for another dose of support and inspiration. Until then, take care of yourselves, and take care of those who matter most.

It’s Time to Take Control and Thrive!